Reflections

Wisdom?

2012-02-12T07:16:00.003-06:00

Journal Entry--Thursday 2-9-2012

I’ve always heard of King Soloman and of his legendarywisdom but listening to the first reading (1Kgs 11:4-13). I couldn’t help butquestion just how wise was he?

“When Solomon was old his wives had turned his heart to strangegods,”…

“By adoring Astarte, the goddess of the Sidonians,

and Milcom, the idol of the Ammonites,

Solomon did evil in the sight of the LORD;”…

“Solomon then built a high place to Chemosh, the idol of Moab,

and to Molech, the idol of the Ammonites,

on the hill opposite Jerusalem.

He did the same for all his foreign wives

who burned incense and sacrificed to their gods.”

How smart was that? And how many foreign and/or domestic wives did he have? I don’t see the wisdom in that. There are days I question the wisdom inhaving one wife. But then I mustremember God has strange ways. Forit appears that: Noah was a drunk, Abraham was too old, Isaacwas a daydreamer, Jacob was a liar, Leah was ugly, Joseph was abused, Moses had a stuttering problem, Gideonwas afraid, Sampson had long hair and was a womanizer, Rahab was aprostitute, Jeremiah and Timothy were too young, David had an affair and was amurderer, Elijah was suicidal, Isaiah preached naked, Jonah ran from God, Naomi was a widow, Jobwent bankrupt, John the Baptist ate bugs, Peter denied Christ, TheDisciples fell asleep while praying, Martha worried about everything, TheSamaritan woman was divorced…more than once, Zaccheus was too small, Paul wastoo religious, Timothy had an ulcer, AND Lazarus was dead!

So maybe he has a plan for me…a sleepy, aging, daydreamer who worries about everything.

Thank you Lord Jesus for putting up with me,

For You are the one who paid the fee,

So this is my prayer…this is my plea,

Help me become who you want me to be.

Amen.

Obit

2012-02-04T10:42:00.003-06:00

After reading Fr. David’s blog/homily I was challenged towrite my obituary…so I decided to take crack at it.

Gene T. Jeansonne at the age of 67 passed away peacefully at home. He will be remembered by his wife as aloving husband and devoted father to their three children and grandfather of fourgrandchildren.

Ok! Ok! …Let’sbe a little more truthful.

Gene T. Jeansonne, born 3 score and 7 years ago, passed away peacefullytoday. He will be remembered as a husband who meant well and a father who wastrying, very trying.

If we learn from our mistakes, then it can be said that he was alearned person.

He was a self-described wallflower and late bloomer who had a soft spotin his heart and in his head.

Fortunately, Our Lord gave him not even one talent to bury.

This “Not so faithful” servant returned to his maker today for his justreward.

Final arrangements are pending.

The thought of a just reward worries me...I am not really looking for justice on judgment day but would prefer an over size portion of mercy. Perhaps it’s not to late. Perhaps I am not done yet…perhapsI need to analyze what is important in my life and get ready for my eternallife.

Dear Lord Jesus

I need to make some adjustments

Prior to the final arrangements.

I know I have little time to tarry

Before they write my obituary.

Amen

Wounded

2012-02-02T21:24:00.002-06:00

A work related accident left a deep gash across the heel ofmy right hand. Fortunately no major blood vessels, nerves or any importantstuff was severed.

I figured why waste time and money having it stitched up bysome over paid person who by definition was “practicing” medicine. After all, it will heal by itself in afew days if I just hold the skin together with some super glue and tape.

Besides…it didn’t hurt that bad after I recovered from thefainting spell caused by the sight of my own blood.

As I counted the days I noticed the healing process was notgoing as planned probably due to the fact that I continued to do all the normalactivities that a person has to do who makes a living with his hands. All the straining and movement waskeeping the laceration open.

After 10 days of my wife rolling her eyes and giving me that“I can't believe I married such a idiot’’ look…I had to gulp hard, swallow mypride and walk into the walk-in clinic. There I confessed my discretions to a medical professional thatsnickered with amusement as she repaired the damage.

So, once again, I’m counting the days until I can remove thesplint and stitches and return to my normal activities.

Thank you, Lord Jesus, for walk-in clinics

For expert medical professionals

And for a wife who is always right

Amen

Good Morning

2012-01-29T09:20:00.001-06:00

Friday 4:00AM, Jan 27, 2012

Good Morning, Lord. How have you been? Sorry about the last few weeks. I know we haven’t talked much lately,so I thought I‘d drop you a note and bring you up to date. Quite frankly I’ve been “dragging ass”to use the vernacular. That beastof burden baulked at each and every step and the struggle drained me both physicallyand mentally. I think it allstarted with a touch of the flu mixed with hay fever…then it settled in myrespiratory system and produced a gelatinous slime that was unstoppable as a lahar. This conditioncaused the weakening of my mental state that subsequently allowed me to catchthe spiritual virus…doubt and despair. So once again I have turned to you for help. You are the one who always saves mybeast of burden. Thanks. I try to do a better job of staying intouch. Hope all is well with you.

Your not so faithful servant
Amen

Coughing, Sniffles, And Sneezing

2012-01-21T21:22:00.003-06:00

In a semi-conscious state I dragged myself from my bed afterwhat seemed like weeks of being incapacitated. Sick is my least favorite thing. It saps every ounce of my physical and mental energy. I don’t have the drive nor the desire toeven journal my ailing thoughts...record my ambling journey...or pen my nauseousprogress. After two days of lyingon the couch, drifting in and out of a zombie like coma with the TV droning inthe background…I could barely muster the strength to take a breath.

What is it about being sick that clouds my thinking and fillsmy head with all manner of dark thoughts and deep doubts. What’s with all the wondering andwandering down the dark dank halls of my mind? I go over and over a relentless litany of questions, misgivingsand fears.

Will I ever feel better? Am I going to die? Am I ready to meet my maker? Am I sick inthe head? I would like to knowwhat’s the point of being sick? What purpose does it serve? Is it an exercise in defeatism? What? What? What? I justwant to give up and throw in the towel…I just want to lie down and groan.

Maybe sick falls into the suffering category. Maybe suffering is just a way Godallows me to have a little taste from the cup. Maybe it’s the way I can gain some understanding…someunderstanding of who Jesus is. Maybeit’s some way to acquire prospective...an opportunity to learn what Christ wentthrough…what he had to put up with.

I have to stop cursing the darkness, focus on the light atthe end of the tunnel and enjoy the chicken noodle soup.

Life is good, God is great, and people are crazy.

Amen.

Ode To The Evergreen

2012-01-10T20:20:00.004-06:00

As I drove the East Texas backcountry following the windingroads over the rolling hills, across the cedar bogs and through the endless pineforests…I marveled at the sights and smells.

The deciduous trees

Gave up their leaves

And the reddish brown

fell to the ground.

The orange-brown hues

Told well of the news

That for no other reason

It was the season.

Logging trucks lumbered

Clattered and thundered

Under the loads of pine

That smelled so fine.

Through Woodville I drove

Through Pineville I wove

Through continuous coves

And countless groves.

But the pine tree stood

As well it should

All tall and slim

With every limb.

Unchanged by the season

In a deciduous treason

Like a stubborn cow

To an evergreen vow.

Thank you, Lord Jesus, for the trip in your awesomewoodlands.

Amen.

Going Home To Lubbock

2011-12-31T14:49:00.001-06:00

As I drove and daydreamed my way down the central Texas highway...abutted on both sides by the bristling brown brush and dry winter grass...I observed most exquisite pale blue sky, highlighted by a wispy white smearing of high cirrus clouds. It was a display of the most awesome painting that touched the distant horizons in every direction. Atop the high plains...mile after endless mile of dry furrowed fields lie in wait for their blessing of rain. I drove on...through the West Texas wind farms...with their tall proud sentinel like fans standing at attention, perfectly still in the midday calm. Their majestic long blades held high as if to salute the maker of this most beautiful day.
Thank you Lord for skies of blue.
Thank you for this day too.
Thank you for Your word so true.
For all of this because of You.
Amen.

Breadcrumbs

2011-12-28T19:04:00.003-06:00

I think my journaling is like medicine…for me it’s therapeutic. Some days I question what I’m doing…Ifind myself going in circles...chasing my metaphorical tail…deluged in doubt. As I meander through the dark forest ofuncertainty and turmoil…the writing is as if I am leaving a breadcrumb trail. Somehow,desperately hoping I can find my way back to sanity.

Amongst all the chaos and confusion

I have come to one conclusion

This I know without delusion

Jesus Christ is no illusion

Amen.

Hats Off To The Hat Lady

2011-12-23T18:53:00.001-06:00

Today marks the end of 44 years of training. Tomorrow I will start the first day ofthe 45^th year of my training. Maybe this year she can teach me to put my dirty clothes in the dirtyclothes hamper. HappyAnniversary! Thank you, Mary, fornot giving up on me.

Thank you, Lord Jesus, for the one who continues to point mein your direction.

Amen.

An Ephah Of Flour

2011-12-22T09:15:00.001-06:00

My attention deficit mind was immediately distracted fromthe first reading when I heard that Hannah brought Samuel, along with a bull,an ephah of flour and a skin of wine to the temple. How much is an ephah? The thought took me back to sixth grade math class with all theunsolvable math problems. If trainA left the station one hour before train B and train B was traveling at fiftyfive miles per hour how long would it take you to get to Chicago? Would you belate for work? How late would yoube? Or if Johnny had one ephah offlour and shared it equally with his two and one-half friends how many cupcakescould each of them make? How manybushels are in an ephah? Oh! Now Iremember…one ephah equals one tenth of a homer. I’ll make a mental note…should I file it under E for ephahor H for homer? No, no…B forbushel.

As I heard the words “go in peace to love and serve theLord” I returned to the reality of where I was and what I was supposed to bedoing. I consoled myself with theknowledge that God loves me…even with my Attention Deficit Disorder.

Thank you, Lord Jesus.

Amen.

Cooking the Book

2011-12-21T09:52:00.000-06:00

I heard a rumor that a local businessman was “cooking thebooks”. Turns out it was someone I knew, a friend and customer of mine. I was shocked, amazed andcouldn’t believe my ears. Itseemed so out of character for him…not at all the person I was acquainted with.

This is how ugly rumors get started. Fortunately, I was there the day he“cooked the book”…so I am able to set the record straight.

Here’s what actually happened. In the process of trouble shooting a defective piece ofequipment (a steam press) the trouble-shooting guide/repair manual wasinadvertently caught in between the two boiling hot parts of the press. By the time it was released the poorrepair manual looked like a grilled cheese sandwich. End of story…

…well…except for the ensuing laughter from everyone whowitnessed the rookie mistake of leaving the book on the press while testingit.

I felt bad about laughing and finding amusement at someoneelse’s expense…but it was funny. Besides…I recall the countless times I’ve done dumb stuff thatrivaled this.

Please, Lord Jesus, give us the humility and grace to laughat our mistakes and not take ourselves too seriously.

Amen.

Christmas

2011-12-17T10:29:00.001-06:00

This is always a difficult time. The Mr. Scrooge part of me seems tohold back the crippled Tiny Tim part until it's too late. Christmas Eve arrivesand I am unprepared. Myprocrastination is red with embarrassment as all the gifts are unwrapped andall the thoughtful tokens remind me of how thoughtless I am. At that time I finally get in theChristmas spirit…the giving mood. I console myself with the fact that the Twelve Days of Christmas are the festive days beginning Christmasday. The Feast of the Epiphany follows the Twelfth Night, on 6 January. During that time the stores are not socrowded and the post-Christmas sales even excite the Scrooge in me.

Dear Lord Jesus, help me to remember whose birthday I amcelebrating and keep me mindful of the fact that there is a little bit of You in each of us.

Amen

A Prisoner No More

2011-12-07T07:52:00.001-06:00

I once was a prisoner in a jail without bars

My soul was marked with tattoos and scars.

I listened to a world with its cynical view

Truth was a mystery because I had not a clue.

I was one of the devil’s countless recruits

I had many idols and foolish pursuits.

It didn’t seem funny…my god was my money

Greenbacks and gold could purchase much honey.

Even my wife that I promised for life

Got nothing but grief and plenty of strife.

But the day did come when I ran out of rope

In my darkest despair there was no hope.

I had no idea…it was me to blame

I longed for a solution to end all my pain.

I moaned and I groaned, I just wanted to die

When a voice suggested, give Jesus a try.

I thought and I pondered this idea so novel

But not until now, was I ready to grovel.

I swallowed hard and gave up my pride

Realizing for me, Lord Jesus, you died.

Amen

Latin Is Greek To Me

2011-12-06T08:16:00.001-06:00

The thermometer said 39 degrees but it was one of thosemornings that felt like minus zero. I couldn’t put on enough clothes to warm up and opted to smell thediesel fumes and listen to the clatter of my old truck instead of enjoying astimulating bicycle ride. I spent thenext half hour flipping back and forth through the new missalette trying tofollow the new Mass responses. Maybe they should have just gone back to the Latin; “et cum spiritu tuo”. I can still recall those retorts from the time I was unwillingly pressedinto the altar-boy service. I had to memorize them but had no clue about theirmeaning. I’m glad I got past thoseyears of being young and stupid. Well at least I’m done with the young part. Sorry, Lord, I’m not complaining…it’s just that I feellike an idiot…but, then again you already know I am one. It’s just hard to bend this stiff neckof mine. So thanks for giving usPope Benedict to help keep us on the straight and narrow.

Thanks Again

Amen.

This Too Shall Pass

2011-12-02T09:38:00.001-06:00

Over the past week I’ve been ruminating over the pumpkinpie, the turkey and the dressing while trying to gain some prospective about thehouse full of children, grandchildren and general commotion. It was wonderful to see the out-a-townersbut I had forgotten how explosive and volatile the situation could get when thenumber children reaches its critical mass. I cannot get the picture of my son (father of three) out ofmy head…that picture of him with that shell-shocked look and the “will thisever end” expression on his face.

A week later, now that the quiet and calm has returned I cananswer his question. The answer is“Yes”. Yes, all childrengrow up. Yes, all of that energyand drama is redirected. Andyes, I know this for a fact because you are the proof.

Thank you, Lord Jesus,

For all my wonderfully bright, gifted and talentedchildren.

Thank you, Lord Jesus,

For all of theirwonderfully bright, gifted and talented children.

For all of whom I have much affection.

Please keep them pointed in Your direction.

Amen

Vespa? Vespers?

2011-11-27T19:59:00.001-06:00

My wife dragged me to Vespers at the Incarnate Word Convent Chapel. Now I’m thinking…Vespers…? What’s vespers?

In my mind I’m thinking--Vespers: 1) the plural form of the word Vespa. An Italian motor scooter, whichgained popularity in the 50’s and 60’s. Or 2) the term used referring to those enthusiasts who collect Vespascooters.

So, I go…I go to a chapel that was apparently built forlittle old nuns…because the seats were short, the kneelers were awkward and thepews were uncomfortable…obviously the designer didn’t have the comfort of fatsinners in mind.

But, I enjoyed just sitting there; I enjoyed just beingthere…not worrying about all the millions of other thing I usually considerimportant and the projects I feel like I need to complete. I soaked in the moment.

The chanting, the incense and the whole atmosphere of peace,calm and reverence gave me a strange feeling like goose bumps on my soul.

So…my definition…wrong again. Actually…Vespers or evening prayer is an ancient prayer formthat predates the church. It is agift from our Jewish brothers and sisters. It finds its base in the prayers of the Psalms. This prayer calls us to give praise andthanksgiving to our loving God.

Thank you, Lord Jesus,

For a needed lesson again

And as always for being a friend

Amen

Silence

2011-11-20T09:17:00.001-06:00

I spent a restful weekend with someone who loves me. It was a silent retreat with God...and eleven other guys. I enjoy the silence...it fits me and my introverted nature...the silence helps cover over my lack of social skills.

I don't know why God loves me but I know He does. He has proven it so many times, in so many ways...not even to mention the "the big one". So I'm glad to spend this time with him away from the rest of the busy world, the TV and all the other people that intimidate me with their worldly high expectations.

God is petty cool...he doesn't expect much...just love him above all and love my neighbor as myself. Two Simple rules for a too simple me.

Thank you, Lord Jesus, for this time
For this time that is so sublime
Give me the courage to be the light
Give me the strength to win the fight
Amen

Stick To Your Guns

2011-11-17T16:43:00.001-06:00

While I’m uncomfortable in groupsof more than one, I forced myself to attend the EWMBC (early Wednesday morning breakfast club) where the topic of discussion was “paying the price”. Sticking to your beliefs…even when it is not politicallycorrect, not in fashion and not in step with the rest of the world. It made me think of yesterday’sreadings (2 Maccabees 6:18-31) whenEleazar would not eat the pork…or even pretend to eat it…in order to save hisneck. “…Eleazar made up his mind in a noble manner, worthy of his years, the dignity of his advanced age, the merited distinction of his gray hair, and of the admirable life he had lived…” Hepaid the price…he stuck to his guns.

I would like to think I am a personof integrity and would stick to my gun like Eleazar. But…I know I havea predilection for bacon and a tendency to reach for my Visa card when it comesto paying the price.

Thank you, Lord Jesus,

For putting the bacon back on thetable.

For I am weak but You are able.

This is a fact, not a fable.

Thank you, Lord Jesus,

For Your patience with a stubbornmule.

For the New Covenant to simplifythe rule.

For Your cross that saved this fool.

Amen.

Tin Box

2011-11-06T05:42:00.002-06:00

I arose early and tiptoed into the kitchen to grab a bitebefore starting my Saturday project. As I smeared some peanut butter on a slice of bread I noticed the tinmatchbox holder next to the stove. Old and aged, I recognized it as the one that had always hung next to mymother in law’s stove. As all the memories rushed back, I had to bite my tongueand hold my breath to keep the tears in check. I began to understand why my dear wife was having such ahard time dealing with the disposal of her mother’s belongings and closing upthe house in which she had been raised.

Yesterday, while listening to her tell of saying good-bye toher mother’s house and the Church her grand parents built…the one her motherattending for so many years…I helped unpack her car and carried in the tattered books, the tiny bells and the homemade pottery…her mother’s stuff.

Lubbock, TX will not be the same. The passing of…to some…justa second grade school teacher but…to most…she was so much more. I have no wordsthat express my feelings for the loss of this good and faithful servant. I can only console myself with theknowledge that she will be rewarded for her 104 years of good and faithfulservice.

My wife is a strong woman, just like her mother, not givento emotional outbursts of crying or crazy mood swings but strong in herconvictions and beliefs. I knowshe will be just fine.

Thank you, Lord Jesus, for these little reminders of someonewho was a clear reflection of You.

Amen.

Word Of The Day

2011-11-04T09:32:00.001-05:00

Spell: Concupiscence

Definition: Con-cu-pis-cence (noun) Lust or strongdesire.

Use it in a sentence: I am hell-bent to keep myconcupiscence from sucking me down the toilet of life.

This word came up at our early Wednesday morning breakfastclub and it became abundantly clear to me that I am not and never will be inthe world of academia. While Ilove big words…my talent seems to be in the area of misusing them. Reading has always been achallenge for me. With my dyslexia...reading is like a word jumble or crossword puzzle. It’s like trying to decode “eat more Malto-meal” without alittle orphan Annie decoder pen or “sind die Bismark” without the Enigmamachine. But I count it ablessing…not being able to read well…that way I don’t waste a lot of timereading a lot of useless information and can allocate more time to importantstuff like…day dreaming, talking to myself or talking to God.

Dear Lord Jesus,

I’m thanking You for someone to talk to.

It’s not so rough, to talk important stuff,

For You understand the entire plan.

I am good to go, I don’t need to know

I trust in you, it will come true.

Your awesome plan that is so grand.

Amen.

My Neighbors Ox

2011-11-01T08:03:00.003-05:00

I pulled my neighbors ox out of a ditch this morning. Actually it was a Ram 2500 and it wasn't the Sabbath but it was a Holy Day. Nevertheless, it was a good feeling to put my agenda on hold and help someone else. Too many times I overlook these opportunities due to my tunnel vision self-interest.
Dear Lord Jesus, help keep me focused on what is important to you not me.
Amen.

Locked Up

2011-10-30T16:57:00.000-05:00

I was locked up for four dayswhere I met some new friends. We spenta long weekend laughing, crying and enjoying music. It wasn’t the normal crowd I hang with, but I had a greattime…partying, eating and getting high. It was incredible…our drug of choice wasJesus Christ. Yes! Getting high onJesus.

The prison ACTS team has beenat it again...doing what Farther David described best with the quote “I am nobody…tryingto tell anybody…about somebody…that wants to save everybody.”

Thank you, Lord Jesus, forgiving me the courage to speak for you.

Now sixty-seven more souls can’t plead ignorance for they have been told and through their repentant tearshave acknowledged they understand the plan.

Please Lord, grant them thestrength to carry through with their promise.

Please Lord, protect them andkeep them close to your heart.

Amen

Pancakes and Sausage

2011-10-26T17:06:00.000-05:00

Ourearly Wednesday morning breakfast group sat around the table munching onpancakes and sausage as we discussed the subject of the day…Clarity of thought.

Ihad little to offer, as I cannot ever remember having a completely clear thoughtin my entire life. As usual…thediscussion seemed to get off onto a tangent of the world’s problems and itsmoral decay. Again I had little tooffer in the way solving the world’s problems as I spent much of my time overthe last two decades just trying to reverse my own moral decay.

Myconclusion was that life is a test and a learning experience. It seems like I have spent a lifetime gainingthe necessary experience…the necessary wisdom to pass the test.

Ifinally figured out that I can’t pass my wisdom on to the next generation. And my parents were unable to pass iton to me…as I was far too smart at the time. This all adds validity to theaxiom: “Good judgment is gained through experience and most experience is gainedthrough bad judgment.”

Itis a shame that all the wisdom goes to waste and the next generation has tomake its own mistakes.

DearLord Jesus,

Forgiveme for being so “smart” at a young age.

Thankyou, for wonderful parents who tried their best to smarten me up.

Thankyou, for being so patience with all my bad judgment.

Amen.

The Frame Carpenter

2011-10-22T19:34:00.001-05:00

Finally the guy framing my wife new bathroom got startedtoday. He spent half the day goingback and forth to the lumberyard exchanging the 8 ft 2x4’s for the correctprecut studs. His excuse was thatthey sent the wrong stuff. Thenall I could hear the rest of the afternoon was huffing and puffing, mumblingand groaning and some remark about “if I could lose 40 pounds and 40 years thisjob would be a lot easier.” Thenhe quit early with some lame-o excuse about wanting to go to church on Saturdaynight.

So I put away my nail gun and all my other tools, extensionscords and air hoses. Tomorrow I’lltry not to huff and puff so much...maybe even start on that diet. After all, Rome wasn’tbuilt in a day.

Thank you, Lord Jesus for all you have bless mewith. Even my marginal carpentershills.

Amen.

Pearly Gates

2011-10-22T05:32:00.000-05:00

As of late I have spend a lot of time wondering about what it’sgoing to be like when I get to the “pearly gates”. I am confident my name was written in the “book of life” butwhat if it is misspelled. It alsoconcerns me as to how many black marks are beside my name or possibly the name scratchedout. Will there be apassword? What questions will I beasked? Will it be a multiplechoice or essay test? Will I havethe right answer?

I’ve given some thought to the question: What did you do to deserveto get in? My answer would have tobe “Nothing, absolutely nothing.” Jesus, you did I all. You gave it your all, you made me, you saved me, and you blessedme. Looking back I can see thatyou were always there, taking care of me even when I ignored you and yourguidelines. So I just wanted youto know I accept your gift…indeed an undeserved gift…but I still accept.

Thank You, Lord Jesus.

Amen.

Too Late?

2011-10-20T08:15:00.000-05:00

We all sataround the table discussing the fact that the world has changed. It’s notthe same world we knew as kids. The one telephone that hung on the kitchen wallwas used for emergencies only, not for visiting. Today, children are bornwith cell phones attached to their ears. We no longer eat family mealstogether or pray the family rosary. Our “one nation under God” has putGod out to pasture. With my 20/20 hindsight it all becomes very clear…themistakes I’ve made…are made. The bell has been rung and can’t be un-rung. It’s too late to close the barn door once the horse is out.

It isabundantly clear that the world has change and it all happened on my watch.

But I mustbelieve that there is hope for the future. I must believe that it is not toolate. Look at the people of Nineveh…they changed.

I can nolonger be just an observer.

What is itgoing to take for me to take action?

Will I haveto be thrown overboard?

Will I haveto be swallowed by a fish?

Dear LordJesus, give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courageto change the things I can and enough wisdom to know the difference.

Amen.

Tuesday

2011-10-11T09:28:00.003-05:00

Dear Diary

In the early morning dark, illuminated by a pale white full moon, I pedaled toward the church and listened to the bells telling mefive minutes remained before Mass began. It was a great sensation because today was the first day in the lastmonth I felt like I was NOT hung over. It had been a tuff few weeks with all thesurgeries. Two days of each week I spent with an ice pack on my head bemoaningthe fact that I had stuff to do but didn’t feel like doing it. Each week I would peel back the bandageand reveal a new miniature railroad like track of stitches across the landscapeof my face. It gave me time tothink of those people who are really sick, bed ridden or worse…those who willnever get better. So…thank you,Lord Jesus… for this little reminder of what it is to not feel so good. And thank you for my abundant good health. Amen.

Mountain High

2011-09-24T08:32:00.001-05:00

I spent an interesting few days riding New Mexico’s SacramentoMountains on my new, thirty-two year old, BMW R100RT. We twisted and turned up and down the narrow highways androads into the most remote and beautiful areas. The off-season ski resort offered an abandoned road withswitchbacks and awesome vistas perfect for the two-wheel enthusiast's ridingpleasure. Gazing down at the clouds shrouding white sands of the valley floorwe breathed in the clean clear mountain air and lamented the fact that we livedin a far less picturesque environment.

We did our best to outrun the afternoon thunderstorms andchase the dream of adventure that lay around each curve and over eachmountaintop.

Perhaps the most interesting sights were the motorcycles andthe riders that attended the Golden Aspen rally. All manner of two and three wheel motorization were inattendance. I felt a bit overdressed, as my tee shirt had sleeves…but then again…I didn’t have even onetattoo to show off, so I supposed it all equaled out.

Behind all the strange leatherwear, tattoos and hair...theywere genuine friendly people who had a common interest and were more thanwilling to talk about their “ride.”
Returning home we stopped for fuel where I observed several riders on their trusty machines and I made the remark "look at that old man, he must be seventy". My riding buddy...after recovering from a violent bout of laughter asked, "How old do you think we are?" OK! OK!...I'm living a dream with all the other old men on motorcycles.

How blessed I am to be living in such a country and enjoyingall of this. It really givesmeaning to the words…”America, The Beautiful.”

O beautiful forspacious skies,

 For amber wavesof grain, 

For purplemountain majesties 

Above the fruitedplain!

 America!America! 

God shed his graceon thee 

And crown thy goodwith brotherhood

 From sea toshining sea!

Thank you, Lord Jesus,

For all the grace You send my way

Amen.

Supine

2011-09-22T08:19:00.003-05:00

As I lie in the dark, supine on my bed, a flickering firefly of athought escapes the grasp of my logic. It makes no sense that God would loveme, yet…there is a yearning in my heart that tells me this is true. As if picking at a sore…I keeprevisiting the thought, straining my tinny brain and trying to make some meaning of it all...even though it is a mathematical impossibilitythat does not add up and an illogical truth that I cannot figure out.

There is something in my bones, something in my beingthat draws me to Him. I have tostop trying to use my logic and just go with it…after all…He is God…and Godcan do whatever he wants. It doesnot have to be logical to me. Likean inheritance…I’ve done nothing to deserve it, nothing to earn it and couldnever repay it. I was just born intoit, born into the house of David, born a child of God. Sofor me this is nothing but an upside…why do I even question it?

Thank you Lord Jesus for your blessings.

Please forgive all my questionings.

Strengthen my faith so I may see Your face.

Give me the endurance to finish the race.

Amen.

GrandMother's T-Bird

2011-09-07T20:44:00.002-05:00

With mixed emotions we loaded up the 1977 Thunderbird that belonged to my Mother-in-law. I am glad my son had an interest in keeping the car in the family and at the same time I knew any old car is just a "money hole". I know he will give this old boat of a car the tender love and care it deserves...because he has the ability and know how. Actually it is kinda exciting...I caught myself looking through my closet for that old polyester leisure suit with the bell bottom pants and those eight track tape of disco music.

Thank you, Lord Jesus, for a wonderful reminder of a wonderful lady.
She blessed me with so many wonderful memories and her wonderful daughter.
She was a "keeper"...in more ways than one...and so is her car.
To find another...you would have to go far.
Amen.

Summer Is Hell

2011-09-05T09:16:00.001-05:00

It was long overdue but the north wind blew and thetemperature dropped to a hundred and two.

With a robust gust and clouds of dust, the sky turned to areddish brown rust.

It’s the time of year that winter is near, and in South TexasI give out a cheer.

Thank you Lord Jesus, you do like to please us, for in thisplace you give us a taste of what it is like when we make haste.

Amen.

Gone Are The Days

2011-08-31T16:05:00.002-05:00

Yes, gone are the days when clothing labels were sewn on the inside of the garment, Oreo cookies came in only one flavor, and TV was closer to reality than “Reality TV”.
As a child I remember how simple life was…I was smarter then. As a teenager I knew everything about everything. Over the years as I grew older, I learned less and less about more and more…until now, I know absolutely nothing about anything.
It’s a sad day when a total stranger tells you that you’re wearing your clothes inside out.

Dear Lord Jesus
I know You did the “Big Forgive”
So in the past I cannot live
Help me make it thru the day
You’re the one who earned the pay

You’re the one who is beguiled
Not reviled by the heart of a child
Upon my face you’ve put a smile
And with your grace an extra mile
Amen

I've Been Duped

2011-08-28T10:16:00.003-05:00

"You duped me, O LORD, and I let myself be duped;
you were too strong for me, and you triumphed.
All the day I am an object of laughter;
everyone mocks me.
Whenever I speak, I must cry out,
violence and outrage is my message;
the word of the LORD has brought me
derision and reproach all the day.
I say to myself, I will not mention him,
I will speak in his name no more.
But then it becomes like fire burning in my heart,
imprisoned in my bones;
I grow weary holding it in, I cannot endure it."
Jeremiah 20:7-9
Amen

Rain

2011-08-25T21:26:00.000-05:00

Today’s job was out of town so I drove the fifty miles as the compass wavered about the “NE”. The powder blue summer sky didn’t have the normal puffy white clouds but presented smooth lenticular ones with shotgun gray underbellies and a hazy darkness that loomed on the horizon. This was the eighth month of the year and there had been no rain in as many months.
The summer heat had parched my spirit and fried my brain leaving me felling like a lifeless heap of jerky. I was expecting another hot, dry, and physically challenging day. But without warning the atmosphere darkened, the temperature dropped and a torrent of rain fell to the dusty earth. It was the long over due drink for which I had waited.
Thank you, Lord Jesus,
For Your blessings out of the sky
Now, it has made my spirits fly.
It’s time to be bold and not be shy
Its time to sing Your praises on high.
Amen.

Chill'n Out

2011-08-21T20:02:00.008-05:00

I twisted on the last wire nut and flipped the breaker. The five-ton package unit immediately dropped the temperature of my man-cave/garage from 107 to 79 degrees. The commercial size blower expelled a torrent of wind that pushed what little hair I had straight back and pulled at my cheeks as if I were in a skydiving free fall. There’ll be no more hot, sweaty, weekend projects at my house...because, now...I can do all those little jobs in my man cave/wind tunnel. In South Texas there is no such thing as too big when it comes to air conditioners.
Eat your heart out Tim “the tool man” Taylor.
Dear Lord,
Forgive my complaining about the summer heat.
I'm certain you will hear less of that complaint now.
I must remember not to complain about the electric bill.
Thank you, Lord Jesus, for all my many blessings.
Amen.

Thursday Morning

2011-08-18T19:21:00.006-05:00

I stumbled out of bed and made my way to church. It was the same ole routine…just like every day…until we got to the first reading. It was from the book of Judges 11:29-39. I don’t recall ever hearing the story of Jephthah and his vow to the Lord.
"If you deliver the Ammonites into my power," he said,
"whoever comes out of the doors of my house
to meet me when I return in triumph from the Ammonites
shall belong to the LORD.
I shall offer him up as a burnt offering."
Now, I’m thinking, surely he didn’t think that one through. Who did he believe he would meet when he returned home? Maybe, his wife? His child? Some pizza delivery guy? Come on. I can see the writing on the wall, I know where this story is going.
Admittedly there have been times in my marriage when I’ve thought the wife would make a good “burnt offering”. But really, this is all too hard to believe. And, don’t you know it, it’s his daughter that comes out of the house dancing and playing the tambourine, his only daughter, his only child. It’s just too bazaar, how could he have done that?
But then I think how God sacrificed his only Son on the cross. Maybe, I’ve just heard that story so many times that it doesn’t carry the shock value. Besides, that “salvation thing” works for me. I can’t imagine what God and his Son must have gone through, but I am sooooo…. thankful that God loves me that much. It’s mind-boggling, it’s hard to believe but I am going with it. All other options just don’t get the job done.

Thank you, Father God
Thank you, Jesus Christ, Son of God
Thank you Holy Spirit…for the wisdom to not “over-think” this unbelievable awesome salvation truth.
Amen

My Favorite Seventh Grader

2011-08-14T15:08:00.003-05:00

Dear Grandson Cameron,
School starts in a few days. I just want you to know that I wish you the best at your new school. I pray your tests go well and that you are placed in a class that is interesting and challenging to you. So have fun, study hard and remember that it is easier to stay out of trouble than to get out of trouble.
May God bless you, your efforts and endeavors. I pray that you grow into the person God wants you to be and have fun along the way. You are a bright spot in my life so be a light to your friends and fellow students. Amen

Love Dado

The Big “D”…and I don’t Mean Dallas

2011-08-08T22:12:00.005-05:00

After a seven-month separation…my wife returned home and began using the “D” word. I was taken aback…I never saw it coming. Things ran smoothly during her absence and I figured everything would be OK. I washed all the dishes by hand, never considering that thing under the cabinet. But now that she has returned, she has mentioned the “D” word several times. I think I see the writing on the wall. Tomorrow, I’m buying her that new Dishwasher. Yes, it’s long over due…all the racks are rusty and the drain backs-up leaving an odoriferous surprise for the next innocent victim who opens the door.

Thank you, Lord Jesus, for all the modern conveniences.
And thank you for a wonderful wife who knows how to use them.

Amen

The Gang

2011-07-24T21:06:00.003-05:00

I started hanging out with those guys that ride motorcycles. Yesterday…the whole gang mounted up and stormed off to the next town looking for thrills and adventure. My mother warned me about these kinds of people but I went anyway. We stopped at a hangout with nothing but trouble on the menu (deep-fried everything). We used language colored with words like “please” and “thank you”. Apparently the folks who ride old “air-head” Beemers are just that way. It’s a cult bike ridden by enthusiasts who enjoy its quirky clutch, clunky transmission and cylinders on the sides. I noticed that no one had a single tattoo; there were no sleeveless shirts and “do rags” in lieu of helmets. I need to watch with whom I associate.

Thank you, Lord Jesus, for giving me wonderful God fearing people to be around.
Amen

FAREWELL

2011-07-09T13:28:00.007-05:00

Mrs Elizabeth Lupton Owen, my wife's mother, went to sleep in Our Saviors Arms on Friday afternoon. I will miss her...that true and faithful servant...she was an inspiration to me and so many others. She blessed everyone with her mere presence, gentle countenance and smile for over 104 years. May Mary's mom rest in peace. I love you, Mrs. Owen.
Amen.

South Texas Heat

2011-07-05T20:25:00.003-05:00

One hundred and three seemed warm to me,
As the sun rose high overhead.
At a hundred and four, I couldn’t ignore,
The heat that I truly dread.

The temperature climbed to a hundred and nine,
And my knees felt wobbly and weak.
I thought to myself, if I were an elf,
A colder place I’d seek.

But what worries me, is this, you see,
It’s not the South Texas heat.
It’s the eternal flame, that’s not the same,
That I do not want to meet.

It won’t hurt my pride, not to reside,
In the place that’s hotter than this.
Far be it from me, to want to be,
In some infernal hellish abyss.

Thank you Lord, you’ve played your card,
And I must make the decision.
I’ll place my bet and not regret,
Because it is You that has arisen.

Amen.

Road Trip

2011-06-28T14:17:00.006-05:00

Three days and twelve pounds later I return home weary from all the hospitality that was heaped upon me. It was a great but exhausting trip…they (my aunt, my cousins) nearly killed me with kindness. All that being waited on…hand and foot…attending to my every wish. It was unusual to be given that much attention, not something I am accustomed to at home. My #2 son and #1 grandson accompanied me on the drive to the old ancestral homeland with its bayous and moss filled trees…the land of my birth…the land that my parents grew up in.

This trip was different from the trips that I remembered as a child. Back then, on the family pilgrimages to see the grandparents, the entertainment was counting the number of cars of a particular make or color, reading the Burma-Shave signs and fighting with siblings over who got the window seat. The window seat was the best seat because the windows were always down, a summer-time necessity, as they were the only air-conditioning. You could stick your head out like a dog and let the wind pull at your face or move your hand like a bird’s wing changing the angle of attack to feel the invisible forces push and pull at your extremity.

There were no seat belts to cramp your style…standing up on the seat was no problem. After all these years many things have changed. The only rule, which has never changed, is the rule about asking; “Are we there yet?” This question is still not allowed to be asked every five minutes.

On this trip the entertainment was I-Phones and Blackberrys…texting and “checking in” on Facebook. Searching the “Gas Buddy” app for the cheapest fuel prices, Googling the nearest restaurants and bookstores. Consulting Google for our current position and any other superfluous question that arose. I felt like we must have stopped at ever Burger King and Dairy Queen for a royal flush. Now, Buc-ees is the new standard when it comes to world-class restrooms. No road trip should be without a stop at the place under the beaver sign. I love their bill-board which reads “ 2 good reasons to stop at Buc-ee’s … #1 and #2.” Their Beaver Nuggets????...I am working up the courage to try them. The name “Beaver Nuggets” congers up the image of beaver pellets. Well, maybe on the next road trip.

Thank you, Aunt Vivian, sister Diane and countless cousins, for the hospitality.
Thank you, daughter Jamie, for letting us borrow your air-conditioned car.
Thank you, son Jason and grandson Cameron, for being great traveling buddies.
Thank you, Lord Jesus, for a safe and fun trip.
Amen

Escape To Zoar

2011-06-28T09:00:00.001-05:00

As I listened to the reading for the day it struck me that I need an escape route. Lot got out of town just in time and I need to be planning my get away too, before the Lord rains down sulphurous fire on this place. Yep! That’s the ticket…go to Zoar and don’t look back.
As I sail through life…whether it be a violent storm or a light chop…it is comforting to know who is napping in the back of my boat.

Dear Lord Jesus,
Of this I readily must concede.
While tiny as a mustard seed.
It’s my faith, that is my creed.
Without that I would be a weed.

It is Your word, that I must heed.
It is Your will, that must supersede.
It is on Your word, that I must feed.
If I am to get, up to speed.
Amen.

Today’s readings
Genesis 19:15-29
Psalms 26:2-3,9-12
Mathew 8:23-27

Algebra And The Thermos Bottle

2011-06-22T09:02:00.004-05:00

"We gather together to celebrate the mystery of God’s love for us.” How many times have I gone to Mass and never really heard that opening line? This morning it struck me…the conundrum of conundrums. The mystery of God’s love for us…us, a sorry pack of sinners. Why would He do that? And…most of all…why me? Some part of me…I’m not sure which; the atheistic, the agnostic or the autistic part…has a hard time believing that. Or, maybe, I just have a hard time understanding it. There are so many things I don’t understand but believe they work…like algebra or the thermos bottle. How does it know to keep cold things cold and hot things hot?

Understanding something is not the proof of its truth.

There is somebody out there taking care of me.
I have proven to myself…that…I can’t do it on my own.
As un-understandable as it is, I like God’s program.
So, I’ll just give in and go with it.
Thank You, Lord Jesus.
Amen.

I Did It My Way

2011-06-21T15:27:00.004-05:00

I enjoy taking certain liberties and pleasures when my spouse is away…such as…eating over the sink, drinking directly from the carton with the refrigerator door wide open and leaving the seat up. I love the feeling of throwing caution to the wind and doing exactly as I wish.

For these are the times that I treasure,
this is the stuff by which one can measure
the meaning of life and all its pleasure.

I had best sweep up the crumbs and wipe off the rim before she returns.
Hopefully my wife will not discover the double life that I lead.

Back Together Again

2011-06-20T21:14:00.009-05:00

"Back Together Again" less all the fairings and bags of course. After completely disassembling the BMW into eight million pieces, servicing every moving part, changing every drop of fluid in every mechanism, disassembling the carburetors numerous times cleaning and chasing every tiny port and passageway, replacing the missing parts with official BMW parts and adjusting each part to factory torque specifications…I finally got it together for a test ride…It looks and feels like a new one. It seems like the sitting in "Uncle Tio’s" barn and the 9,000 miles he put on it over 30 years ago didn’t hurt anything.

The 31-year-old R100RT “airhead” is such a sweet ride. Now to install all the fairings and bags and dream of that road trip to the mountains…all points north and west…maybe Alaska.

Thank you, Lord Jesus,
For all the blessings you send my way,
I do realize this one is just for play,
but I have to thank You anyway,
even when carburetors made me pray.
Amen.

The Summer Solstice

2011-06-17T19:30:00.002-05:00

I plodded along struggling to make the short walk from the shop to my truck in the sweltering afternoon heat. The sun scorched the powdered dry soil and a dust devil pelted my face with grit. Breathing in the hot dry air torched my windpipe and wilted my lungs. I could feel each ray of sunshine burning me like a powerful lazer and every pour of my skin struggling to keep cool by giving up precious body moisture. I couldn’t help but think, “What am I going to do when summer arrives?”
In the Northern Hemisphere, the first day of summer…the summer solstice…begins on Jun 21, 2011 at 1:16 P.M. EDT…the longest day of the year.
Ancient pagans celebrated with bonfires. Couples would leap through the flames, believing their crops would grow as high as the couples were able to jump. That seems like a formula for disaster…today…in this heat, I can barely put one foot in front of the other.

Dear Lord Jesus, forgive me for complaining about the mud. This is just another example of not knowing what is best for me. Perhaps a little mud wouldn’t be so bad.
As I lie my girth upon my berth,
I pray for rain for all I’m worth.
Send Your showers to quench the earth,
And let the waters extinguish its thirst.
Amen

Father's Day

2011-06-16T21:23:00.003-05:00

One more year…one more Father’s Day…one more without my father. This June 11th, one week before Father’s day, is the anniversary of his death 46 years ago. It doesn’t hurt so much any more but I still miss him. All he ever asked for was "a little peace and quiet”…of which I gave him little. My dad was a stern man and could be a strict disciplinarian. Perhaps I was the reason for this. But he obviously cared…otherwise he would have allowed me to be the foolish adolescent that I really was. I have visions of him sitting on the couch in the den, reading the paper and chewing on a cigar. He never taught us kids how to fish or hunt, throw a baseball or kick a football but he did teach us the important stuff…always tell the truth, say what you mean and mean what you say, and hard work never hurt anybody.

As a father you’re not so bad.
On this day I shall not be sad.
It is for you that I am glad.
Thanks for being a super dad.

Happy Father’s Day, Dad

Apricot Cake

2011-06-12T15:45:00.001-05:00

Though it was late; I took the bait.
With the cake I filled my plate,
and then I ate what was so great.   
 It’s just the calories that I hate.

Shopping

2011-06-09T15:49:00.004-05:00

While placing a pound of bacon in the shopping cart next to the package of Ding-Dongs…being careful not to crush the chips…I noticed that I was the skinniest person in Wal-Mart. I couldn’t help but think…what a sad commentary for our society…that here in the land of plenty, obesity has become an epidemic.
I gave a sigh and waddled to the checkout while casting a lustful eye at a box of Milky-Ways.
Perhaps too much of a good thing is not a good thing.

I am so blessed to be where I'm at.
Please help me, Dear Lord, get rid of the fat.
The Twinkies and candies are not to blame.
It’s my will power that’s not in the game.
Amen.

What’s For Supper?

2011-06-08T19:48:00.005-05:00

Six or seven garden ripe tomatoes (a gift from the neighbor),
Part of a left over onion,
The last few cloves of garlic,
Some celery,
A hand full of jalapeños,
A dash Salt,
A splash of EVOO.

Process it in the food processor until it is unrecognizable.
Simmer over a low fire until the pasta is ready
Go to the freezer and retrieve whatever meat you can find, I guess chicken will work, chop in little pieces and stir-fry.
Plate and serve with your favorite Kool-aid.

OK, OK! I guess Bobby Flay will not be calling me for any “throw down”.

It may not be the traditional RAGU but it is taste good...especially when you are hungry.

Thank you Lord Jesus for the food we eat
Thank you for this special treat
Thank you, for the neighbors so kind
Please help me keep my blessing in mind.
Amen.

Doubts And Questions

2011-06-05T13:32:00.003-05:00

Brand new Deacon Patrick Knippenberg gave a killer homily today…the kind that makes you sit on the edge of your seat and tugs at your insides. It was especially meaningful to me because I live in a world of doubts and unanswered questions.
It was reassuring to learn that faith has as element of doubt in it, because if I knew…if I had positive proof…there would be no need for faith. It was conforting to find out that I was in good company with those that worshiped but doubted.
Mathews gospel 28: 16 -17 “The eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain to which Jesus had ordered them.  When they saw him, they worshiped, but they doubted. ”
Dear Lord Jesus;
Please forgive my nagging obsessions,
With so many doubts and so many questions.
Strengthen my faith, please send me the grace.
To get me back to home base.
Amen.

Yesterday

2011-06-03T09:11:00.003-05:00

Yesterday is gone and today I carry on. It was a gut wrenching experience and I’m glad it's over. It was difficult not to yell at someone…and I sooo.......wanted to. Someone had to be at fault for such stupidity…the only problem was…that it was me.
The “Chernobyl” experience made me wish I had not given up cussing and swearing…perhaps even blasphemy.
Ok…today no more multi-tasking, no more getting everything done at once…if I only get one job done and done right it will be fine.

Lord Jesus, thank you for the lessons learned
Even when the eggs were burned.
I know you are trying to stretch me up
But I don’t know how I can drink your cup.
Amen

A Watched Pot

2011-06-02T16:59:00.002-05:00

They say “a watched pot never boils” but if you add a few eggs…it becomes another Fukushima or Chernobyl with exploding hydrogen gas and complete core meltdown. Actually, I did not watch the pot for just a few seconds and then lapsed into a senior moment that lasted for a full hour. Upon realizing what I had done…I returned home surprised there were no fire-trucks in the front yard. After ventilating the house of all the acrid smoke I decide maybe I had better just put on my pajamas and go back to bed.

Thank you; Lord, for saving my bacon…again.
Amen.

This Morning

2011-05-28T20:53:00.000-05:00

I set out early with a list of errands to run and odd jobs to do. It was hard not to notice the sun as it came over the horizon glistening with its orangey-yellow hues that lit the pale blue sky…a sky without a single cloud. The only mark was a thin white “con-trail” (condensed moisture from a jet engine) that stretched across the blue from southwest to northeast cutting the heavens in half. The austere beauty reinforced the notion that there is someone out there…someone very intelligent…some designer of the universe that makes this all work. Then, I get the overwhelming feeling that I could reach out and touch the face of God.
Thanks for mornings, I like so much.
Thanks for the face, I love to touch.
Thanks for the sky of awesome blue.
Thanks for the knowledge…I know it’s YOU.
Amen

I Chose You

2011-05-27T10:10:00.003-05:00

I stood and listened to today’s gospel, John 15:12-17.  
Jesus said to his disciples: “It was not you who chose me, but I who chose you… …This I command you: love one another."
It was as if He was talking to me and that hit me right between the eyes. The fact that God did chose me and pursued me until I relented, gave in to his wishes and accepted his friendship. Now…for the “love one another” part. Well, I’m still working on that.

Vegetarian?

2011-05-26T13:49:00.004-05:00

I think I might be a vegetarian and just didn’t know it. Yesterday I was craving some okra and corn. So, I stopped at that Bar-B-Q place named for an uncle’s stray dog…ordered a large fried okra and fried sweat corn, then washed it all down with a soda pop. Delicious! This morning I continued with my vegetable diet and had potatoes and tomatoes. I went to that place with the orange and white striped roof and ordered large fries with extra catsup. Delicious! For lunch I decided to go across the tracks to a place most would not consider an up-scale restaurant. It’s a very busy place…the kinda place you order at the drive-in window then drive to the back door to pick up. I personally prefer to go inside and enjoy the ambiance. I sit at the table that has one leg shorter than the others and watch the locals while they dine on chicken gizzard and burgers. It’s the type place you don’t have to worry about some snobbish waiter trying to place a linen napkin in your lap. This place should be featured on the “Food Channel” they make best onions-rings in the world. A light golden brown crispy batter and the onions are perfectly translucent from being cooked at just the right temperature. The large order makes an entire meal. And that’s what I had. Onions smothered in a red tomato sauce…the kind in the squirt bottle with the name that ends with the letter “Z”. Delicious!!!!!
Vegetables are wonderful when deep fat fried in animal fat. Eat healthy!

Thank you, Lord God, for giving us all the plants to eat.
And thank you for the animal fat to fry them in.
Amen.

Barn Find

2011-05-25T22:08:00.003-05:00

I have two vivid memories of lusting or coveting after something. As a child…one was a Red Rider B-B gun, but after several Christmases passing I gave up on that dream. The other, at a bit older age, was a motorcycle. My argument was you can’t shoot your eye out with a motorcycle…motorcycles are inherently safe.

I would spend hours daydreaming of riding off into the sunset just like in the show “Easy Rider”. So, you can call me middle age crazy but that’s not correct…I am closer to seventy than sixty. I guess it’s just old age crazy or just crazy.

The last few days I have felt like a kid at Christmas. I had no idea something could be so exciting. I haven’t been this excited about anything for a long time…and it’s all over a thirty two year old motorcycle. An antique that was forgotten…left in a barn for the last 29 years collecting dust and wasting away. The story goes…It was purchase new by this “Uncle Tio” in 1980. But parked upon his death 3 years later with only 9000 miles on it.

It is known to motorcycle aficionados as an “Airhead”, an R series BMW, the touring model with all the “stuff”…bags and trunks and fairings etc. And it’s all original, it’s all there…it has potential. Ok…so it will take a little work to get it going. Well, maybe a lot of work.

This is the bike of my dreams I hope the dream does not turn into a nightmare.

June Bug

2011-05-24T19:15:00.004-05:00

May 24th
I saw my first June bug of the season…one full week ahead of schedule…crawling along the driveway in the early morning darkness, illuminated only by the light that hangs above the garage. I suppressed the notion to squash it, just because I could. Perhaps God has some plan for that little bug that I am unaware of. I decided to save the capital punishment for those more pesky insects like spiders, mosquitoes and cockroaches. Surely they don’t fit into God’s plan. Like the first snowfall points to the coming of winter, the first June bug must mean summer is almost here.

Thank you, Lord, for the change of seasons
I know that you must have your reasons.
If it was up to me, I would leave out summer
With all the heat I think it’s a bummer.
Amen.

Clueless Cleopas

2011-05-09T18:00:00.004-05:00

Sunday's May 8th gospel (Luke 24: 13-35) was great. I can identify with clueless Cleopas when he asks Jesus “are you the only one that doesn’t know?” It is hard to imagine that Cleopas did not recognize Jesus. But…it is me…totally me…totally clueless…because, I look back on my journey though life…my “walk to Emmaus”…and realize that I had no idea that Jesus was right there with me. The irony of it all is such a stinging reality. When I was at the lowest, most down cast point in my life, that is when my eyes were opened. It was sort of a breaking of my pride that opened my eyes. So when I hear this gospel reading and the words “Were not our hearts burning within us while he spoke"…and …“he was made known to them in the breaking of bread.”
I have a hard time containing my feelings and emotions.

Thank you, Lord Jesus, for what you did.
You are better than the wizard of Id.
You cure the eyes that cannot see.
Thanks for the patience you have with me.
Amen.

Humility

2011-05-07T09:14:00.005-05:00

Dear Diary,
Today was the most humiliating day of my life…OK, Ok…it was just another day of doing something stupid and humiliating. It all started when I pulled up to the pump to fill my gas-guzzler, inserted the credit card and began answering the litany of questions…debit or credit…Carwash…yes or no…etc, etc. Then comes the biggie…zip code? Well…in a senior moment…I inadvertently transposed the numbers. After several failed tries with the transposed number I canceled the transaction to retrieve my card before the machine ate it. Oh! No! My card…it’s gone. I marched into the store and confronted the manager with my problem. With a puzzled look he immediately accompanied me to the pump unlocked and opened it. Examining every nook and cranny he explaining that these machines unlike an ATM do not take cards but are only card readers. With a sinking feeling I felt in my pocket… there it was…the missing card. Who put that there?
After filling up I drove away crouched low in the seat with my hat pulled down low over my eyes in a funk of disgust and humiliation.

Thank you Lord of these lessons in humility.
It’s just what I need in my age of senility.
Amen.

Ponytails

2011-04-27T05:39:00.000-05:00

I don’t know what it is about long hair pulled back into an equine like appendage that I find so fascinating. But, there is something about ponytails on tall, long legged girls that makes my heart lope. Before I get too carried away…trot off in the wrong direction…I must remind myself that ponies are just little horses and by definition horses tails are connected to horses asses.

Thank you, Lord Jesus, for these sobering reminders.
Not to mention the much needed blinders.
Keep me focused on You, my pal.
Keep me safe in Your corral.
I know it’s better on Your side of the fence.
Where the meaning life makes perfect horse sense.

Amen.

A Public Service Announcement

2011-04-25T10:34:00.003-05:00

Warning
To all homeowners, apartment dwellers and whoever has access to a refrigerator.

Do not under any circumstances look on top of or touch the top of your refrigerator unless you are HAZMAT qualified/certified and have the entire array of HAZMAT suits and clean up materials.

This morning I made the mistake of placing my hand on top of the refrigerator while talking to my wife. When I withdrew it, my hand was cover with a blackish-gray greasy matter incrusted with a fuzzy substance. After an hour of laborious cleaning I deemed the kitchen safe for habitation. I am debating whether or not to pull out the refrigerator and look in the back where that little dust-collecting fan resides.

I’m having a hard time rationalizing the “what I don’t know won’t hurt me” argument.

Cool Names

2011-04-24T10:18:00.003-05:00

I tore each page of useless notes from my spiral notebook and found this dated (4/13/11)

I sat in my usual seat listening to the readings from the book of Daniel. King Nebuchadnezzar grilled Shadrack, Meschach, and Abendnego about their faith. And I thought “how cool would it be to have a name like that?”. Well maybe at my age…but probably not growing up…all the other kids would make fun of me. Then I thought…how cool would it be to have the faith that Shadrack, Meschach, and Abendnego had. In spite of all the fiery threats they refused to bow down to Nebuchadnezzar’s golden statue.

That’s a sobering thought…if I can’t take a little childish name calling…how will I ever pass the test when the furnace is turned up to seven.

Dear Lord Jesus
Thank you for all of your caring over the years.
Thanks for getting me through my childish fears.
Please give me the courage to walk in the fire.
Just don’t turn up the furnace seven times higher.
Amen.

Industrial Solutions

2011-04-11T11:56:00.004-05:00

It was day nine of the countdown…the countdown to my wife’s return after a four-month absence from the house. In all the excitement about her returning I forgot that myself, my son and my grandson had been “batching it” and had paid little attention to the house cleaning chores…myself being the worst offender. My main concern was the shower, which I remember had white grout with light blue tile…not greenish brown grout. I searched the grocery store shelves for an industrial solution but found none. All the advertised scrubbing bubbles, foamy cleaners and sudsy solutions were a total failure. I went to garage and retrieve my 2500psi high-pressure sprayer, donned the proper attire (birthday suit) and charged into the jungle like enclosure.

Voila…clean white grout…what a difference and with very little effort. I'm sure my wife will be pleased with the results, I’m no so sure she would approve of the method. Well what she don’t know want hurt her. Now, for the dusting…lets see…where did I put that leaf blower.

Thank you, Lord Jesus, for all my blessings especially for the right tools to do the job.
Amen

Two-Lane Highways

2011-04-09T21:36:00.002-05:00

As I drove the winding two-lane highway that followed the swells of the rolling hills and severed the green pastures…I passed through quaint little towns with names ending in “Burg” or “Ville”…towns with names that seem to have too many consonants and not enough vowels. I recollect making the same drive…down this same highway…numerous times in my youth. Back then it seemed like there were always some old people in some old car or pick-up poking along holding up traffic…keeping me from getting to my destination in record time. But today there were no such “old people” holding up progress. I enjoyed having the whole road to myself…life is good…I thought.

Glancing into my rear view mirror I notice a line of vehicles that disappeared over the last hill. At that moment I realized that I was the “old people” in my 14-year-old car…poking along. I looked down to make sure my blinker was not on. Well...at least I didn't have that embarrassment to deal with.

Life is good…it’s all about change. I‘ve changed my ways…I now recognize that sometimes you just have to pull over and let the rest of the world go by.

Thank you, Lord Jesus, for a changed life.
Amen.

Can’t Stop Smiling

2011-04-05T19:48:00.001-05:00

Tuesday…as I drove to work I could feel a silly grin pulling the corners of my mouth upward into a smirk of a smile. My entire being was still giggling with delight at the thought of my weekend adventure. The flight up to Lubbock, on Friday, took three hours due to a miserable headwind. And the clear skies allowed the West Texas sun to warm the plowed fields…causing strong thermals to push up and meet me at 10,500ft. While the ride was a bit rough I considered it a small price to pay in lieu of a nine-hour, five hundred mile drive. Besides I was excited to visit my dear sweet Mary after a three–month separation and a few bumps were of little concern. It was sort of a two-day date. We even went out to a very nice restaurant…the kind without a menu…the waiter just tells you what they are cooking and you don’t ask the price. It was fun…the food was great and the company was wonderful. I didn’t have to share “the company” with anyone else…it was just the two of us and it was as exciting and as intense as our first date over 44 years ago. Sunday afternoon came all to soon. I check the weather for the return flight and found that the wind had picked up. While the official weather was for Visual Flight Rules (VFR) they also reported winds 240 degrees, 30 knots gusting to 45 with blowing dust. That was a direct cross wind for the little grass strip I was to depart from. Not to worry my wife I tried to show no concern while vision from the show “Flying Wild Alaska” entered my head. I kissed her goodbye and climbed into the cockpit. The take off went rather well…in spite of my rusty piloting skills…thankfully the grass runway was very forgiving. As I climbed out the blowing dust became an issue. While officially it was Visual Meteorological Conditions (VMC) I could not see the horizon…much less anything else in front of me. I instinctively went to my flight instruments and had to rely on my less that proficient instrument skills. Then there was that fuel stop with my less that stellar landing and the take-off…it was more across the runway than down the runway. After climbing over the dust storm into clear blue skies and smooth air the remainder of the flight was quite boring.

Thank you, Lord Jesus, for a wonderful weekend, an exciting flight, and a fantastic visit. Thank you for a wife to share with my “going to be 105 year old” mother-in-law. Thank you for a smile I can’t get off my face.
Amen.

Lent

2011-03-30T16:30:00.000-05:00

Good Friday is right around the corner and I haven’t really given up anything except going down the “belly-bean” aisle at HEB. I do not know how much longer I can hold out…every time I pass by aisle # 8 my shopping cart turns toward the colossal belly bean dispenser like a forked peach limb or divining rod in the hands of a douser. The thought of scoring a bag of reds or yellows haunts me as if I were a drug addict. The thought of a bag of liquorice delights is almost unbearable. Then…I realize what a spiritual wimp I am when I think about how painful a nail through the hand must be.

Dear Lord Jesus

You ask so little
Still yet I piddle.
Even though it’s late
You fill my plate.

I have not a clue
Of all you do.
But what I see
You are good to me.

Amen

Return Trip

2011-03-24T08:56:00.006-05:00

I set the altimeter to 30.15, leveled off at 7500 feet and let the air speed true out at 167 kts (192mph) while I turned to 130 degrees on the heading. Peering through the holes in the overcast I could see the patchwork of the Texas High Plains farmland pass beneath me as I returned home. The uneventful flight gave me to time to reflect on a weekend filled with mixed emotions. I was glad to be going home but unhappy to be leaving my wife. I was glad she was staying to care for her mother but a part of me was sad that she would not be taking care of me. I was happy my mother-in-law was better but sad knowing her time was limited. I was happy to be flying 192 mph instead of driving 70 mph. There are two sides to every coin and I am thankful that I have a pocketful of coins.

Thank you Lord Jesus
for all my blessings, those I have so many.
Thanks for all the gifts, these I have a plenty.
For a life sublime, there is nothing so fine.
It is Your example I must keep in mine.
Amen.

God's Best Work

2011-03-23T03:26:00.004-05:00

Dear Father God,
Please be advised that I overwhelmingly approve of your handy work. It has come to my attention that you made man in your image and likeness but you really hit a home run on your second time at bat. When you made women you totally outdid yourself.
Of course it only makes sense. In my experience building stuff, the second prototype affords the opportunity to refine all the parameters; usually the first one has bugs in it. For example: testosterone or whiskers, which have no apparent use, other than to get man into trouble. Nevertheless, I am totally thrilled by your best work...women. I like the wiggle when they walk and the giggle when they talk. Their hair, their face, their voice…it’s poetry in motion…they are pleasing to the eye and they warm the heart. Everything is in the right place…they have a special symmetry and balance…a certain “je ne sais quoi”.
Detroit’s best work was the ‘57 Chevy. Your best work is women. And the very best part is the one you picked for me. I will be eternally grateful for that bit of Devine providence. I just wanted to drop you this short note to let you know, but I guess you already know that.
Sincerely Yours,

Your “not so” faithful servant

Note To Self

2011-03-21T21:28:00.003-05:00

After several months of procrastinating I finally decided to clean off my desk.
That’s when I found a scrap of paper dated 11/12/2010 with the words scribbled in my handwriting “Where the body is, there also the vultures will gather…Luke 17:37”

Now I remember Father Harold reading that gospel and I remember that it painted a vivid picture in my mind. I remember thinking that the vultures will prey on the lifeless and maybe I need to become more spiritually active. I need to do something to keep the buzzards from circling overhead.

Dear Lord Jesus,
Give me the strength to keep on moving,
To keep putting one foot in front of the other.
Give me the wisdom to stay on the straight and narrow,
To keep my toes pointed in your direction.
Amen

Bars And Scars

2011-03-15T22:01:00.001-05:00

I looked through the bars,
At the tattoos and the scars,
The awful sight was frightful.
This is not the place,
To take up space,
I pondered a notion so dreadful.

For those that reside,
All puffed up with pride,
And I knew this would not do.
I feared for their souls,
They had the wrong goals,
'Twas the things they misconstrue.

Such confusion and woe,
With no place to go,
I barely could comprehend.
What trouble and sorrow,
With no hope for tomorrow,
How could they even pretend?

They all dress in white,
But it did not seem right,
I could feel it in my soul.
What a pitiful sight,
I witnessed tonight,
And it made my blood run cold.

If only I could tell them,
The chains that held them,
Were not made of iron or steel.
Their only prayer,
To get out of there,
Would be something quite surreal.

The effort was made,
We talked and we prayed,
We tried like never before.
This is your chance,
To do the dance,
To make the Lord your Savior.

It was down to the wire,
It was heaven or fire,
It was time to make a choice.
They threw in the towel,
And made Jesus their Pal,
With the sounds of their praising voice.

It tugged at my heart,
To see such a start,
For this I can only say.
I saw the tears,
Wash away the fears,
For Jesus saved the day.

I thought to myself,
Put pride on the shelf,
Let Jesus make you all new.
With a little foresight,
You can light up the night,
It is this anyone can do.

I look passed the bars,
And all of the scars,
I saw the men in white.
Thank you, Jesus,
You do so please us,
For souls that shone so bright.

Amen.

I Was in Prison, and You Visited Me

2011-03-13T22:39:00.002-05:00

I sat at my makeshift desk…cluttered with unfinished business…glaring at the computer screen and wondering what I had gotten myself into. Why did I agree to go on a prison retreat? Why did I agree to give a talk? What do I know? What am I going to say? My insecurities and fears threatened to drag me away to a dark and forboden place. I had to remind myself that God chooses the unqualified and the unworthy to do his work… He chooses the lame to lead, and the mute to speak.

So…What Can I Say?

What can I say that will make your day?
What can I say that is not a cliché?
Who can I trust, whom can I pay?
What shall I pray to make you sway?

It’s not for nought I pen this essay.
It is not gossip; it is not hearsay.
Take advantage of that fateful Friday.
Shout to the Lord a big hurray.

Make it your goal to avoid the decay.
Stay out of the fracas, stay out of the fray.
Do not put off, do not delay.
If you are wise, follow Him right away.

‘Tis the Lord Jesus who knows the way.
We have His promise, “it will be OK.”
Upon reaching our end, there is no leeway.
So for your salvation accept Jesus today.

Amen

Ash Wednesday

2011-03-09T12:31:00.006-06:00

I noticed the black smudge on my forehead as I looked in the mirror and it reminded me that today is the first day of lent…the first day of spring training…so to speak. This is my chance to get in shape, to do a little self-discipline. This is my chance to work on the person I need to be…the person God wants me to be.
Training is necessary to get in shape for the race. Fasting and abstinence is eating right. My goal for the next forty days is to build some spiritual muscle mass.
Whoever thought up lent was on the right track. What a great reminder that our body returns to the earth and our soul returns to God, our creator.

Thank you Lord for these forty days
Sometimes I get a little sideways
But it's your forgiveness that does amaze
So let my voice sing Your praise.

It is You who sets my heart ablaze
Upon Your face I hope to gaze
You’re my Father when it comes to padres
Thank you Lord for these forty days.
Amen

Absence Make The Heart Grow Fonder

2011-02-22T03:46:00.001-06:00

I didn’t realize how much I would miss my wife until she was gone. The saying about “absence makes the heart grow fonder” is apparently true. The mind is a funny thing. Looking back…I tend to remember all the good times and suppress any unpleasant memories. As I recall the best times, it makes my heart long for her return even more. Maybe it’s just self-interest on my part, but I can’t get her out my head…I keep thinking of all the wonder and intimate time we’ve had together. I miss the comfort of knowing she is in the next room. I miss her not being in the same house. I miss her touch.

I support my wife and her choice to care for her aging mother because I love them both. It’s a small sacrifice I make…sharing her…for a much more noble cause than my selfishness.

As time goes on I become fonder
Of her because she is over yonder
It is no stretch why I wonder
Why my heart does not wander.

Thank you, Jesus, for such a wife
Not to mention my undeserved life
Please forgive the occasional strife
But, the missing her cuts like a knife.

Amen

Strange Excitement

2011-02-16T08:33:00.000-06:00

The same strange excitement comes over me when I think about going to pick up my date, my girlfriend. The same girl, the same house, her mother’s house where I picked her up over 44 years ago for our first date. This time I will drive 500 miles to get there not the 50 blocks I drove from college dorm to her mothers house. It takes me back to my younger more foolish days when I did not realize what a blessing I had in her and her mother. But thanks to divine providence she has been my best friend, my teacher, girlfriend, and my wife all this time.

Thank you, Lord Jesus for putting her and her mom in my life.
Amen

About Confession

2011-02-16T08:28:00.002-06:00

Dear God,
As you know, in the past I have a hard time with confession but I see that you are fixing that problem. In your infinite wisdom and twisted sense of humor, you have allowed the devil a bit more leeway and therefore it seems that I have picked up the pace on my sinning. Due to your grace alone...the up side is that I have apparently matured spiritually. I no longer rationalize my actions like I used to, I know it is a sin right up front and realize that I will have to go stand in line with all the other sinners waiting my turn in the box. Sucking up my pride is a big issue with me but I know I must…I know I must “fess up”. Thank you, Lord Jesus, for all your help, but…it’s OK if you ease up on the temptations now.

Thanks

Your not so faithful servant,
Me

These are a few of my favorite things

2011-02-13T20:50:00.004-06:00

I don’t mean: “Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens,
Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens,
Brown paper packages tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things”

No…these are a few of my favorite sins…that’s what I am referring to. This Sunday’s sermon cut a little too close to the bone. The gospel reading was from Mathew 5:17-37.
“……. it was said to your ancestors, You shall not kill; and whoever kills will be liable to judgment.  But I say to you, whoever is angry with brother will be liable to judgment; ……. ‘You fool,’ will be liable to fiery Gehenna.  ……………….. “You have heard that it was said,  You shall not commit adultery.  But I say to you, everyone who looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one of your members than to have your whole body thrown into Gehenna. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one of your members than to have your whole body go into Gehenna. “……. you have heard that it was said to your ancestors, Do not take a false oath, but make good to the Lord all that you vow.  But I say to you, do not swear at all; not by heaven, for it is God’s throne; nor by the earth, for it is his footstool; nor by Jerusalem,…. Let your ‘Yes’ mean ‘Yes,' and your ‘No’ mean ‘No.’ Anything more is from the evil one.”
Father talked about what we allow to go on in our heads, sometimes we do not want to let these thoughts go. We don’t want to get over them. We enjoy playing them over and over in our head. He talked about how sometimes we enjoy being angry and carrying a grudge. I gave some thought to the part about “but I say to you, anyone who looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” But we do have a choice. We can choose what we want to think about. Displacing bad thoughts with good thoughts…substituting prayer for lustful looks would be a more prudent action than spending an eternity in Gehenna. So, let my “yes” mean “yes” and my “no” mean “no”. I pray, Lord Jesus, that this be so. Let Your words be the “Sound of Music” in my head.

Dear Lord, I am tired of the same old rerun.
Help me “move on” to something more fun.
Fill my heart with nothing but grace.
Take my head to a better place.

It’s not enough to abstain from the action,
But give no thought to the evil attraction.
Your words in scripture You do not mince.
So, please guide my thoughts now and hence.

Amen

Beast of Burden

2011-01-25T18:04:00.004-06:00

I drug my “beast of burden” from my sick bed to the medicine cabinet and peered in…looking for something to relieve the sniffles and headache. It was difficult to determine which remedy of modern medicine to take…so I decided to open a can of chicken noodle soup instead. It was much more soothing than some wretched pill or nasty syrup and after consuming an entire bowlful I regained enough strength to crawl back in to bed, pull the covers over my head and nod off to sleep as I prayed.

Thank you, Lord Jesus, for the all the good times and good health…even if underserved. Thank you, Lord, for this tiny bit of suffering that serves to remind me that life is not always fun and games or good health. Help me accept whatever suffering you send my way and endure it with a little bit of the same grace and composure You showed us on the cross.
Amen.

Pecan Pie

2011-01-15T08:15:00.003-06:00

For breakfast I leaned over the sink and devoured the last piece of pecan pie…a pie, which a friend had brought over…expressing concern that I was not being properly nourished while my wife was away taking care of her mother.
I couldn’t help but think how thoughtful and kind some people can be and perhaps I should work toward being more like that…as I licked the pie tin clean. I’ll start on that diet tomorrow.

Thank you, Lord, for pe-can pie.
Thank you, for friends nearby.
With all of this that I spy.

I can not maintain a dry eye.
It’s quite enough to make one cry.
When contemplating the By and By.

For you, O’ Lord, I can not deny.
You, O’ Lord, are my Rabbi.
It is you, O’ Lord, I hold on High.
Amen

Uncloudy Day

2011-01-13T00:03:00.003-06:00

After several cold and cloudy days I begrudgingly relented to my wimpier side and turned on the breaker to my electric water heater. At last I had to admit that my precious solar water heater had let me down. So at the end of a cold, windy, and cloudy day of working outside I caved in and turned on the electricity, went inside and took the most wonderful hot shower ever.

Thank you Lord for Benjamin Franklin, Nikola Tesla, and Thomas Edison.
Thank you for whoever invented all the stuff that makes life comfortable.
But most of all, thank you, Lord Jesus, for the really important stuff.
Amen

Four Advil

2011-01-10T09:14:00.003-06:00

Four posts, four post-holes and four Advil later, I crawled into bed. Thanks to my son Jason and the two-man post-hole digger we cemented in the structure that will hold the new gate for the new driveway. I fear I’m getting too old for all these projects but doing them gives me an emotional boost. I feel more alive…the excitement of doing something keeps me young…at least in my head. And such is my life…it is lived mostly in my head and has little to do with reality.

Please forgive my waxing and waning/
Also forgive all my constant complaining.

All of my straining, my aching and paining/
I am sure it’s good for my spiritual training.

Give me strength to pass the test/
For you, Lord Jesus, are the best.

Amen

"Thank God And Greyhound"

2010-12-23T19:21:00.002-06:00

After 43 years of marriage the day finally came. The day my wife announced that she was moving back to her mother’s house…going home to mother...moving out…leaving… and I was OK with that.

It wasn’t like Roy Clark’s “Thank God And Greyhound she’s gone”. While I am pleased that she is leaving it’s for an entirely different reason. Her almost one hundred and four year old mother needs her. Almost blind and almost deaf she still lives at home but someone needs to be there and I am pleased it can be my wife.

Thank you, Lord Jesus, for a loving mother-in-law and her daughter.
For such a wonderful and undeserved gift is not fodder.
I will miss her…and it’s only a pittance to pay for the hereafter.
Thank you, Roy Clark, for making me chuckle and all of the laughter.

12/23/10… Happy 43rd Anniversary… Mary Owen…I love you.

The Shortest Day

2010-12-21T17:25:00.002-06:00

On the shortest day of the year…the winter solstice…I pedaled into a strong headwind and struggled to make the 6 AM Mass. It was T-shirt weather and the brisk breeze carried off the heat and sweat generated by the vigorous turning of the crank. After the readings I was able to catch my breath and listen to what Monsignor Harold said. “Christmas makes no sense…nothing about Christmas makes any sense,” says he. Finally someone admitted what I had been thinking for a long time. Christ coming into the world the way he did is not what I would expect God to do. If I were God I would have flown in on Air Force ONE, had a big limousine and a bunch of Secret Service men waiting to take me to a four star hotel. But God chose to come as a baby…born to an unwed mother in some retched barn full of stinky animals.

What do I know? I do not understand why, but I am glad He did it. I am glad he came for the poorest of the poor, for the lowest of the low…for me.

I’ve decided that it does not have to make sense. I am comfortable being the most foolish of the foolish…the fool of fools…a fool for Christ.

God’s nonsense makes more sense than the wisdom of the wisest men.

As usual, my preparing for Christmas was limited to eating lots of Christmas cookies and Christmas candy. So again this year you will not receive a Christmas card or gift from me.

Merry Christmas to all

Some Things Never Change

2010-12-10T21:47:00.004-06:00

As I sat on my tailgate…I lifted the tab to the rim and pulled back slowly…per the instructions on the can of Van Camp’s Pork and Beans which had spent the morning on the dash of my truck warming in the December sun. I wiped off my spoon with the clean underside of my shirttails and dug in. The taste of that first spoonful took me back to my childhood…just as if it were yesterday…the memories flooded back…memories of a blissful time when all was right with the world. It was a simpler time before fast foods…before TV…a time when the family all ate dinner together. Those pork ‘n beans found their way on to our table with amazing frequency and I loved them. They were especially good on the family vacations when Mother would put the can in the back window of the car…by noon we would find a roadside table and enjoy that wonderfully warm tomato sauce and pork flavored bean. My dad referred to those beans, as “the musical fruit” and he would recite his favorite limerick. “Beans, beans the musical fruit…the more you eat the more you toot.” What great times. Our caring parents kept us kids on a short leash and well sheltered from an ugly outside world. Life was not so messy back then. As a “grown up” I tend to do what I want to do…and that’s what gets me in trouble.

Well…some things never change…our Father’s love and Van Camp’s pork ’n beans.

Dear Father God…give me the wisdom to stay on that short leash, listen to your words, follow your rules and enjoy this blissful life as a child. Amen

Burr...

2010-12-09T21:31:00.001-06:00

The Weather Channel reported thirty-three degrees Fahrenheit, calm winds and a clear sky. So I jumpstarted my day with a bicycle ride to morning Mass. It was a wonderfully refreshing morning with a heaven full of stars. I was able to locate the “Big Dipper” high in the northern sky…inverted with its outer rim pointing down toward an indistinguishable North Star…supposedly lower down in the haze toward the horizon. I couldn’t help but wonder how the old sailing ships ever got to their destination without a Tom-Tom, Garmin or Magellan. Fortunately I knew the way to church and then on to the “W” for breakfast…breakfast with the old men who sit around drinking coffee and discussing the world’s problems (myself not old enough to drink coffee).

As I pedaled home the sun’s rays pierced a crystal clear blue sky and glistened off of the snow white frost covered roofs. I took a deep breath of cold morning air and thought…this is a day the Lord has made.

You’re the star and guiding light
You’re the one who lights the night.
Thank you Lord for this day
It is You that shows the way.

Amen

Mental Health Days

2010-12-03T18:37:00.002-06:00

Monday I decided to take a mental health day. It seems that if I go to work too much…I start taking everything too seriously and get all bogged down in stuff that isn’t even my concern…and that diminishes my productivity. So I was going to hang out at home and work on my writing…hone my skills as a serious writer. After several hours of staring at a blank page, sharpening every pencil I owned and making multiple trips to the fridge to look in…I decided I could never be a real writer. Fortunately the phone rang and a customer called with an emergency…so I gathered up my tools and spent the day doing stuff I was more comfortable with.
Today is Friday and my wife wanted to know how many mental health days I was going to take. Well…that’s the beauty of being self-employed…working for yourself. You can make your own rules about mental health days. As long as my belly button is not touching my backbone I can take as many days as I want.

You are the one, who answers my plea,
Thank you Lord Jesus, for taking care of me;
Back in the day, when I had not even a clue,
Now I realize that it was you.

For all of the times when things were fine,
For all of the times when I was blind;
Thru all of the trials and all of the test,
Now I realize you’re the best.

Amen

Alpine Art Walk

2010-11-30T11:54:00.006-06:00

As I sat on the steps of the Brewster County Courthouse whittling away at my time, the autumn breeze rustled the golden yellow leaves of the Cottonwoods and dispatched the fragrance of outdoor cuisine quaffing up from the street vendor’s booths. A parade of art cars that you wouldn’t find on exhibit at “du Louvre” meandered down the main drag amidst the “oohs” and “aahs” of the crowd (my favorite was the giant “cockroach” car). The streets filled with the music of Matt Skinner’s Walk’n, Talk’n, Fingerpick’n …while Ray Wylie Hubbard had us “up against the wall”. It was a weekend of smelling the leather at the Big Bend Saddlery, ingesting burgers at Alicia’s Burrito Palace and stargazing at the McDonald Observatory. It was the Marfa lights, the blown-out tires, the adobe Church at Ruidosa on the Rio Grande and the drive down Pinto Canyon Road. I am now confident that my wife’s new Camry and I are ready for the Paris-Dakar 2011 Rally. The moonset at sunrise in Lajitas, the home-make music and the austere beauty of the Big Bend Park was magnificent. The fact that it was all enjoyed with friends will not soon be forgotten.
Thanks to our hosts, the tall lanky cowboy and his stunning wife…their hospitality would make any outsider fit right in. Thank you for inviting us, taking us into your home and feeding us; a rowdy bunch of college kids on the verge of retirement.

There is no place like Alpine
The air is fresh, the weather fine
The mountain views they are sublime
I hope to visit one more time.

Up and down the city sidewalk
Cluttered with drawings of charcoal and chalk
Photos and paintings are the big squawk
November is the time for the Alpine Art-Walk.

And so I am blessed with all of the best
But having good friends is the test
Then there is no need for all of the rest
And so it is...out there in the West.

Amen

Tofurkey Day?

2010-11-29T15:34:00.001-06:00

Thanksgiving is a one of my favorite holidays. I totally enjoy the family gathering together for a meal…a meal at my mother-in-law’s house. She has become the focal point. At the age of 103 she still lives at home…her house is the gathering place for the entire family and any homeless folks you might care to invite…all are welcome. Most everyone brings a dish, a dessert or a delectable treat. While I am not a professional eater, I do feel like an “Olympic class” amateur who is constantly training for just such an event. My strategy is to start with the pies first…making sure I test each and every one…I would not want to hurt anyone’s feelings. Then on to the main course…again making sure to try all the different entrées and side dishes. This year a “Tofurkey” stuffed with wild rice in the most attractive presentation found it’s way onto the menu. While I’ve never had any vegan tendencies…my curiosity peeked at the thought of anything made from tofu tasting like food. I feel that I have matured a bit in my eating habits…it no longer bothers me that the peas touch the mash potatoes… I’ve decided it is all going to the same place. But the Tofurkey…what can I say…to put it politely there was no need to go back for seconds. I’m quite sure I will never be a vegetarian. While I enjoy many vegetables I can’t see banning all foods that have or have had eyes from my diet. Bacon, burgers, butter and bread, especially white bread, are essentials and a necessary food group.

Thank you Lord Jesus,
You know how to please us.
For the family and friends,
And all of the grins.

At One hundred and three
She is amazing you see.
For how can it be
Such a blessing to me?

Thank you so much
For your loving touch
For all the malarkey
And even Tofurkey

Amen.

Technically Frustrated

2010-11-13T04:37:00.001-06:00

Dear Diary;
I am literarily, metaphorically and technically Frustrated. Wave after wave of the latest technology washes over me as I struggled to catch my breath. I cannot get my antiquated PDA/smart phone to scroll and therefore perform any application. I am awash in a sea of three and four “G” know-how, drowning in a deluge of high tech gadgets that I have no idea how to operate and do not want to learn. I am ready to throw in the towel along with my dingle berry of a Blackberry. Following numerous doctoring of the little mouse ball with alcohol and no success…it appeared the little mouse was sick and would not recover.

Then I remembering what grandson Cameron taught me, I “Googled” it. I typed in "how do I clean my Blackberry mouse ball". Bingo…there it was… instruction illustrated with pictures.

I pried off the retaining ring with my pocketknife and exposed the tiny directional rollers, which were impacted with a six-month supply of belly button fuzz. My wife’s toothbrush was the perfect tool suited to the task. I brushed and cleaned everything until it was shiny new…snapped it back together and “voila”

“Life is good, God is great and people are crazy.”
Amen.

Note to self:
I must remember to put her toothbrush back.

Fall Days

2010-11-12T18:35:00.002-06:00

It was another gorgeous fall day, and now the sun was low and the shadows were long as I drug myself, pick axe and shovel back to the house. It had been a physically exhausting day of digging…digging up an electronic probe for a customer’s automatic gate opener. I should have known that I was out of shape…just this morning I had to come up twice for air as I tie my bootlaces. I enjoyed the physical activity for the first few hours but, after not finding “the treasure”, the fun wore off. I commandeered a backhoe and effortlessly dredged up the defective item…in no time.

Thank you, Lord Jesus,

For a beautiful day spent outdoors,
A perfect place to do my chores.
I must admit it underscores,
A sharp contrast to when it pours.

For holes to dig, it never bores,
A few blisters here and muscle sores.
I won't complain or make those roars,
On days like these my spirit soars.

Amen.

White Bread

2010-11-07T08:45:00.000-06:00

Yesterday my wife brought home a loaf of white bread. Communications being what they are… I assumed it was to eat and immediately tore into it. Little did I know it was to make little sandwiches…finger sandwiches with the crust cut off...sandwiches for her high tea women’s club meeting.

When I was a child my mother always bought white bread. It was the thing…it was the rage. Maybe it was the only type of store-bought bread available. White flour was what everyone wanted…refined white bread, refined white flour. Who knew the refining process got rid of all the good stuff. I grew up on white bread and loved it…good stuff or not. Bologna on white bread, PB&J on white, pimento cheese on white, whatever on white was the standard of the day. Childhood was great, in spite of all warnings, you could run with a pair of scissors and not put your eye out, fall from tall trees without breaking your neck and eat white bread to your hearts content without dying…those were the days. But now it’s different…we know better. My wife being the kind, caring person she is will not allow me to eat white bread because it’s bad for me. Well, apparently she does not care as much for her “high tea” buddies.

Thank you Lord,
For a caring wife,
Sometime it’s hard,
And full of strife.

But this I know,
About this waif,
When it’s time to go,
You will keep me safe.
Amen.

Pedaling The Pyrenees

2010-11-06T09:50:00.002-05:00

I could feel the burning muscles in my thighs as I exhaled another breath laden with moisture. Cresting the last hill...with most of the kilometers behind me…I visualized the finish line and donning the yellow jersey. Reaching my destination I put aside the Tour de France daydream, went inside and took up my usual seat in the last pew. The physical exercise of riding the bike to church gets my blood flowing and makes me more alert for the spiritual exercise. It’s unfortunate I don’t take my exercise more seriously...for it seems I am developing a midriff bulge…both body and soul.

Thank you Lord Jesus,

For the legs that can pedal,
For a mind that can meddle,
For the words that I pen,
So I thank you again.

The yellow jersey I may not win,
For my goal is to be your friend.
Crossing your finish line is a must,
So I will not be left in the dust.

Amen.

Winter Texan

2010-11-03T14:07:00.002-05:00

A cold drizzle and a sharp north wind make the gray overcast day seem as if I were back in Alaska. I went to the armoire and withdrew my favorite plaid flannel shirt…the same shirt that makes my wife role her eyes in disgust. Like an old friend it comforts me…I would wear it on all occasions if not for the moaning and groaning of the one who has impeccable taste. But on cold days…when we will not be seen together, in public…I am allowed to indulge my fetish. I am a winter Texan at heart but stuck here year-round. So when cooler weather comes I get excited and dream of Alaska, Campbell’s soup and hot chocolate.

Today’s gospel reminds me that we all have our crosses and I must take up mine and follow if I am going to be counted as a disciple.

“Whoever does not carry his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple”.
Luke 14:27

Thank you Lord Jesus;

For letting me carry such a small cross,
Not to follow would be my loss.
While Texas heat may be intense,
I know your words you do not mince.

A tiny cross though it may be…but yet…
A reminder of just how hot things could get.
The Texas summer is a trivial cross,
And I am so glad you are the boss.

Amen

One Of Those Days

2010-10-31T09:40:00.001-05:00

It was one of those days…one of those mornings when the sun’s rays danced and glistened off the propeller as it spun…it spun in a crystal clear blue sky. I pushed the black throttle knob forward and unconsciously pressed the right rudder to keep the alignment straight down the runway. As the air speed wound up I pulled back on the stick and climbed into the cold dense morning air at 2,000 feet per minute, pegging the VSI. At 5,000 feet I relaxed on the controls and let the nose settle back to the horizon then watched the airspeed build up to the top of the green. The visibility was unrestricted and the view was unbelievable. I could see the patchwork landscape of greens and browns in all directions…I could see until it disappeared beyond the curvature of the earth. At almost a mile up the world looks so peaceful and serene. What a shame that it really isn’t that way with all the bickering and fighting. We need a Jonah to come and warn us to straighten up. But then again we need to be like the people of Nineveh and listen. Even their king listened. Apparently most of us do not want to listen…least of all our “king”.

There is nothing like tearing up the sky on a cold, calm, clear day when all is right with the world. Too bad the whole world isn’t right with God. Too bad I can’t stay up here all day.

Dear Jesus,
I could fly way up so high, in a clear unclouded sky.
Such a notion excites the emotion, and makes me want to try.
If the price of fuel were not so cruel, this dream I would pursue.
But it is not me that can clearly see; it is You that makes the view.

Woe is me, who tends to flee your each and every decree.
Your only goal is not to scold, but remind a forgetful me.
It’s time to flee evil’s plea; it’s time to take a knee.
For you my Lord are the only one I really need to see.
Amen.

“It was pride that changed angels into devils; it is humility that makes
men as angels.” Saint Augustine

On Marriage

2010-10-26T21:25:00.003-05:00

Yesterday was one of those challenging days...although I can't remember exactly what the heated discussion was about…it escalated into a very uncomfortable situation. For some reason I was unable to communicate my point of view and it lead to a total meltdown in the exchange of logical ideas. It turned into a hissing contest. Meooooow! She can be such a pain in my “beast of burden”.

I had to stop and think. I tried to remember, to recall why...just why I did get married? What was I thinking? Was I thinking with my brain or some other not so vital organ? There is a lot of give and take in a marriage but you have to be prepared to do all of the giving... or so it seems. I have learned (the hard way) it is best to just keep your mouth shut and let the plan unfold.

In hindsight I realize it was God using her and leading me through those dark days when my thinking was clouded with testosterone. He paired me with the right wife. He gave me a wife who has been my moral compass and guiding light. She has kept me on the straight and narrow even when I did not want to be. She has integrity, sincerity, and honesty. She is a loving, kind and caring person who has never met a stranger. For the most part she is even-tempered and steady, not given to emotional outbreaks. She is the most normal person I know. All in all it has turned out very well.

I need to be a little more patient, show a little more kindness and look at the big picture.

“The man who finds a good wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the LORD”
Proverbs 18:22

Lord Jesus,
Thank you for a good wife,
Thank you for a treasure,
And thank you for good life,
It's more than I can measure.

Thanks for the one you sent,
My words cannot explain,
To me, what she has meant,
For this blessing I must exclaim.

Amen.

The Texas Mile

2010-10-23T22:20:00.007-05:00

In my youth I always harbored an interest in “scary fast” cars and airplanes. So I decided to spend a day with my son and grandson doing something we might all enjoy. It was an amazing day of meandering though the pits, looking at and drooling over the fantastic assortment of vehicles. We visited the start line and then made our way down to the finish line. Just as we reached the end of the one mile course…right before our eye we all stood there watching a beautiful Lamborghini cross the finish line, pop his parachute and become air born. My son describes it best in his words.

“duuuuuuude!!
you would not even believe what we saw if I told you! have you ever seen a Lambo Giallardo?
have you ever seen one pull a "dukes of hazzard" at 235mph..............FREAKING AWESOME!!!!!!!!
$350,000 for a brand new Lamborghini
$100,000 in race and performance modifications
$5,000 matching fire retardant race suit/ shoes/ helmet
$2,000 food and drink
launching your car 20 feet in the air at 235 mph...........priceless
MASTERCARD...........”

How any one could survive that crash is nothing short of a miracle.
Thank you, Lord Jesus, that no one was injured and for an exciting day spent with my kids.
Amen.

Summer's over

2010-10-16T07:11:00.002-05:00

Under a dark morning sky dotted with twinkling stars, the cool air rushes over my face and I breath in the smell of autumn. Finally the miserable South Texas summer is over and fall weather has arrived with the most beautiful fresh mornings, magenta sunrises, high wispy white clouds, and a light breeze out of the north.

I imagine this is what heaven must be like…without the hay fever… of course.

For the last two weeks I’ve watched the snowbirds heading south to the Rio Grande Valley where they will nest for the winter. Each morning as I pedal my way to church I observe the Wal-Mart parking lot cluttered with motor homes and travel trailers belonging to the endless migrating flocks. Imagine how unbearable it would be if our weather were like this the year around. The tourist would be so thick you couldn’t stir them with a stick.

So, maybe, those agonizingly hot summers do have an upside. They keep the tourist at bay and also remind me that I definitely do not want to spend the next life in a hot place.

There is something intuitively apparent about it, the autumn mornings, something that tells me that there has to be a God, a wonderful powerful God to have put all this awesome beauty together.

Thank you, Lord Jesus,

For autumn mornings, and hot summer warnings.
For antihistamine, and fields of green.

For Your promise and pain, all to my gain.
For blessings and gifts, that constantly lifts.
In an effort to please, I fall to my knees
For You are the One, who gets the job done.

Amen.

Comments from Malta

2010-10-09T06:00:00.005-05:00

Father Tito's comments are always insightful. Here is what he write from his home in Malta. May God Bless him... for he is a friend of God.

Who can understand God. All we can hope for is to be one of his friends and that is not easy, due to the fact that it is different from human friendship. God has to take our heart and transforms it to his own likeness, and that's not easy. It takes a life time and we will never understand how God in his foolishness chooses human beings and begs them to be his friends. Often we never think of God being our friend. Because his friendship is not human friendship. Love Fr. T

A Foolish God

2010-10-08T10:32:00.004-05:00

Blind faith must be a wonderful gift. My blind faith is constantly peeking through one eye trying to see the “how” and “why”. To me it all seems like such foolishness. The three persons in one, the being born to a unwed teenage girl, the dying a horrible death, the bread and wine, the body and blood thing…all of this makes no sense…and why? I can put no logic to it. Yet…I can put no logic to the numerous little miracles in my life that have warmed my heart and confounded my brain.

For me nothing in this world makes any sense unless it is looked at through the foolishness of God, the foolishness of love.

“For the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men.” 1 Corinthians 1:25

Therefore I must conclude that if God is God he can do whatever he wants…even if it does not make sense to me. Thank goodness for a foolish God.

Thank you, Lord Jesus, for blind faith. For it is by faith I am allowed to accept your love and look forward to the promise I have in YOU. Amen.