Note To Self

After several months of procrastinating I finally decided to clean off my desk.
That’s when I found a scrap of paper dated 11/12/2010 with the words scribbled in my handwriting “Where the body is, there also the vultures will gather…Luke 17:37”

Now I remember Father Harold reading that gospel and I remember that it painted a vivid picture in my mind. I remember thinking that the vultures will prey on the lifeless and maybe I need to become more spiritually active. I need to do something to keep the buzzards from circling overhead.

Dear Lord Jesus,
Give me the strength to keep on moving,
To keep putting one foot in front of the other.
Give me the wisdom to stay on the straight and narrow,
To keep my toes pointed in your direction.
Amen

Bars And Scars

I looked through the bars,
At the tattoos and the scars,
The awful sight was frightful.
This is not the place,
To take up space,
I pondered a notion so dreadful.

For those that reside,
All puffed up with pride,
And I knew this would not do.
I feared for their souls,
They had the wrong goals,
'Twas the things they misconstrue.

Such confusion and woe,
With no place to go,
I barely could comprehend.
What trouble and sorrow,
With no hope for tomorrow,
How could they even pretend?

They all dress in white,
But it did not seem right,
I could feel it in my soul.
What a pitiful sight,
I witnessed tonight,
And it made my blood run cold.

If only I could tell them,
The chains that held them,
Were not made of iron or steel.
Their only prayer,
To get out of there,
Would be something quite surreal.

The effort was made,
We talked and we prayed,
We tried like never before.
This is your chance,
To do the dance,
To make the Lord your Savior.

It was down to the wire,
It was heaven or fire,
It was time to make a choice.
They threw in the towel,
And made Jesus their Pal,
With the sounds of their praising voice.

It tugged at my heart,
To see such a start,
For this I can only say.
I saw the tears,
Wash away the fears,
For Jesus saved the day.

I thought to myself,
Put pride on the shelf,
Let Jesus make you all new.
With a little foresight,
You can light up the night,
It is this anyone can do.

I look passed the bars,
And all of the scars,
I saw the men in white.
Thank you, Jesus,
You do so please us,
For souls that shone so bright.

Amen.

I Was in Prison, and You Visited Me

I sat at my makeshift desk…cluttered with unfinished business…glaring at the computer screen and wondering what I had gotten myself into. Why did I agree to go on a prison retreat? Why did I agree to give a talk? What do I know? What am I going to say? My insecurities and fears threatened to drag me away to a dark and forboden place. I had to remind myself that God chooses the unqualified and the unworthy to do his work… He chooses the lame to lead, and the mute to speak.

So…What Can I Say?

What can I say that will make your day?
What can I say that is not a cliché?
Who can I trust, whom can I pay?
What shall I pray to make you sway?

It’s not for nought I pen this essay.
It is not gossip; it is not hearsay.
Take advantage of that fateful Friday.
Shout to the Lord a big hurray.

Make it your goal to avoid the decay.
Stay out of the fracas, stay out of the fray.
Do not put off, do not delay.
If you are wise, follow Him right away.

‘Tis the Lord Jesus who knows the way.
We have His promise, “it will be OK.”
Upon reaching our end, there is no leeway.
So for your salvation accept Jesus today.

Amen

Ash Wednesday

I noticed the black smudge on my forehead as I looked in the mirror and it reminded me that today is the first day of lent…the first day of spring training…so to speak. This is my chance to get in shape, to do a little self-discipline. This is my chance to work on the person I need to be…the person God wants me to be.
Training is necessary to get in shape for the race. Fasting and abstinence is eating right. My goal for the next forty days is to build some spiritual muscle mass.
Whoever thought up lent was on the right track. What a great reminder that our body returns to the earth and our soul returns to God, our creator.

Thank you Lord for these forty days
Sometimes I get a little sideways
But it's your forgiveness that does amaze
So let my voice sing Your praise.

It is You who sets my heart ablaze
Upon Your face I hope to gaze
You’re my Father when it comes to padres
Thank you Lord for these forty days.
Amen

Absence Make The Heart Grow Fonder

I didn’t realize how much I would miss my wife until she was gone. The saying about “absence makes the heart grow fonder” is apparently true. The mind is a funny thing. Looking back…I tend to remember all the good times and suppress any unpleasant memories. As I recall the best times, it makes my heart long for her return even more. Maybe it’s just self-interest on my part, but I can’t get her out my head…I keep thinking of all the wonder and intimate time we’ve had together. I miss the comfort of knowing she is in the next room. I miss her not being in the same house. I miss her touch.

I support my wife and her choice to care for her aging mother because I love them both. It’s a small sacrifice I make…sharing her…for a much more noble cause than my selfishness.

As time goes on I become fonder
Of her because she is over yonder
It is no stretch why I wonder
Why my heart does not wander.

Thank you, Jesus, for such a wife
Not to mention my undeserved life
Please forgive the occasional strife
But, the missing her cuts like a knife.

Amen

Strange Excitement

The same strange excitement comes over me when I think about going to pick up my date, my girlfriend. The same girl, the same house, her mother’s house where I picked her up over 44 years ago for our first date. This time I will drive 500 miles to get there not the 50 blocks I drove from college dorm to her mothers house. It takes me back to my younger more foolish days when I did not realize what a blessing I had in her and her mother. But thanks to divine providence she has been my best friend, my teacher, girlfriend, and my wife all this time.

Thank you, Lord Jesus for putting her and her mom in my life.
Amen

About Confession

Dear God,
As you know, in the past I have a hard time with confession but I see that you are fixing that problem. In your infinite wisdom and twisted sense of humor, you have allowed the devil a bit more leeway and therefore it seems that I have picked up the pace on my sinning. Due to your grace alone...the up side is that I have apparently matured spiritually. I no longer rationalize my actions like I used to, I know it is a sin right up front and realize that I will have to go stand in line with all the other sinners waiting my turn in the box. Sucking up my pride is a big issue with me but I know I must…I know I must “fess up”. Thank you, Lord Jesus, for all your help, but…it’s OK if you ease up on the temptations now.

Thanks

Your not so faithful servant,
Me

These are a few of my favorite things

I don’t mean: “Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens,
Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens,
Brown paper packages tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things”

No…these are a few of my favorite sins…that’s what I am referring to. This Sunday’s sermon cut a little too close to the bone. The gospel reading was from Mathew 5:17-37.
“……. it was said to your ancestors,
You shall not kill; and whoever kills will be liable to judgment. 
But I say to you,
whoever is angry with brother
will be liable to judgment; ……. ‘You fool,’
will be liable to fiery Gehenna.
 ……………….. “You have heard that it was said, 
You shall not commit adultery. 
But I say to you,
everyone who looks at a woman with lust
has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
If your right eye causes you to sin,
tear it out and throw it away.
It is better for you to lose one of your members
than to have your whole body thrown into Gehenna.
And if your right hand causes you to sin,
cut it off and throw it away.
It is better for you to lose one of your members
than to have your whole body go into Gehenna. “……. you have heard that it was said to your ancestors,
Do not take a false oath,
but make good to the Lord all that you vow. 
But I say to you, do not swear at all;
not by heaven, for it is God’s throne;
nor by the earth, for it is his footstool;
nor by Jerusalem,….
Let your ‘Yes’ mean ‘Yes,' and your ‘No’ mean ‘No.’
Anything more is from the evil one.”
Father talked about what we allow to go on in our heads, sometimes we do not want to let these thoughts go. We don’t want to get over them. We enjoy playing them over and over in our head. He talked about how sometimes we enjoy being angry and carrying a grudge. I gave some thought to the part about “but I say to you, anyone who looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” But we do have a choice. We can choose what we want to think about. Displacing bad thoughts with good thoughts…substituting prayer for lustful looks would be a more prudent action than spending an eternity in Gehenna. So, let my “yes” mean “yes” and my “no” mean “no”. I pray, Lord Jesus, that this be so. Let Your words be the “Sound of Music” in my head.

Dear Lord, I am tired of the same old rerun.
Help me “move on” to something more fun.
Fill my heart with nothing but grace.
Take my head to a better place.

It’s not enough to abstain from the action,
But give no thought to the evil attraction.
Your words in scripture You do not mince.
So, please guide my thoughts now and hence.

Amen

Beast of Burden

I drug my “beast of burden” from my sick bed to the medicine cabinet and peered in…looking for something to relieve the sniffles and headache. It was difficult to determine which remedy of modern medicine to take…so I decided to open a can of chicken noodle soup instead. It was much more soothing than some wretched pill or nasty syrup and after consuming an entire bowlful I regained enough strength to crawl back in to bed, pull the covers over my head and nod off to sleep as I prayed.

Thank you, Lord Jesus, for the all the good times and good health…even if underserved. Thank you, Lord, for this tiny bit of suffering that serves to remind me that life is not always fun and games or good health. Help me accept whatever suffering you send my way and endure it with a little bit of the same grace and composure You showed us on the cross.
Amen.

Pecan Pie

For breakfast I leaned over the sink and devoured the last piece of pecan pie…a pie, which a friend had brought over…expressing concern that I was not being properly nourished while my wife was away taking care of her mother.
I couldn’t help but think how thoughtful and kind some people can be and perhaps I should work toward being more like that…as I licked the pie tin clean. I’ll start on that diet tomorrow.

Thank you, Lord, for pe-can pie.
Thank you, for friends nearby.
With all of this that I spy.

I can not maintain a dry eye.
It’s quite enough to make one cry.
When contemplating the By and By.

For you, O’ Lord, I can not deny.
You, O’ Lord, are my Rabbi.
It is you, O’ Lord, I hold on High.
Amen