A Simpleton's Prayer

Thank you, Lord Jesus, for doing all the unbelievable stuff you do.

Forgive me, Lord Jesus, for not believing that you can do unbelievable stuff.

Grant me, Lord Jesus, the stuff...the grace...to believe in an unbelievable God.

Amen.

Small, Small World

The reality of my world is ‘what I believe’…and ‘what I believe’ is mostly in my head.  Therefore my world is a small, small world indeed…a world cluttered with fears, doubts, worries and misgivings.  If not for the light at the end of the tunnel my world would be an intolerable place.  Christ is the light at the end of the tunnel and today’s Gospel reminds me that Christ did away with the old rules…and gave me a new rule. It is no longer and eye for and eye and a tooth for a tooth…but to love one another and he loved us.

John 13:34,35

“I give you a new commandment: love one another.

As I have loved you, so you also should love one another.

This is how all will know that you are my disciples,

if you have love for one another.”

Morning Again

I wipe the drool from the corner of my mouth without opening my eyes and desperately struggled to remain in that peaceful state of calm and tranquility between the sheets of our king size bed.  The next recollection was of daylight filling the room and the thought of wasting the best part of the day…so I staggered to the window, opened the blinds and saw an orange sun peering through waves of low gray clouds.  How can every morning be so amazing, so magical, and so mysterious? 

Oh! I forgot that God is in charge of this mad, mad world in which I live.  Thank you, Lord Jesus, for the peace you bring to this crazy world.  I’m looking forward to leaving the crazy behind in the next.  Amen.

Water Boarding and Divine Providence

Looking through some old photos I came across a picture of my NOW wife.  She was wearing a Dolly Parton wig and a mini skirt.  I recall being captured like “a deer in the headlights” by her painted up Bambi eyes and incredible smile. I had no clue about what I was getting into at that time…I had no idea about the real meaning of love…lust, maybe…but not love.

I have slowly come to realize that love is not always fun but more of a slow martyrdom.  A dying of my selfish self and doing what my better half wants me to do.  After all…she is always right…and…therefore…that’s what ultimately makes me happy.

To me, it seems that the requirements for getting married should be more stringent. 

If I recall…there were a few words from the priest…that I did not listen to because my focus was somewhere else.  Ideally, an intense course should be taught culminating with a final exam, which should include a session of water boarding to emphasize the seriousness of the matter. Also, for the slow learners, like me, the couple should be joined together with ankle chains.  Marriage is serious business from which there is no escape and should not be taken lightly.

After 45 plus years of marriage I have finally figured it out…I am thankful for Divine Providence and a patient wife.  I consider myself blessed to have a God fearing spouse with an amazing smile who still looks hot in a mini skirt.

Thank you Lord Jesus…

For undeserved blessings you heap upon me. 

I’ll never be able to repay the fee.

Forgive me, Lord, for all the things I did not see.

For this I pray, this is my plea.

Amen

Ties That Bind

Tonight is the first full moon following the vernal equinox which means Easter will be celebrated on the following Sunday as established by the First Council of Nicaea in the year 325.  The Jewish Passover, the slaying of the lamb, the crucifixion of the Lamb of God are all tied together with a thread that binds the Old Testament to the New.  

“Fess Up”

I have a difficult time with the sacrament of reconciliation.   Confession is far too interactive…I prefer the sacraments that don’t require so much participation.  I’m good with a little water poured over my head or some oil rubbed on my forehead. The best is just putting out my tongue and swallowing the graces.  Even the simple “I DO” was easy…the challenge came later.  But confession is too hard.  I suppose the trouble is my pride…the inability to “man up”. 

As part of my self-improvement program I’ve decided to take the face-to-face approach and stop hiding behind the little black screen.  After all, on Judgment Day the whole world will be watching and listening to my pitiful life story.  So, I best get some practice. 

I know God Loves me but I want God to like me.  As God runs his finger down the pages in the book of life I want him to smile when he comes across my name…not shake his head in disappointment…but give a little grin or even a smirk.  I want God to be proud of me.  I would definitely prefer that He like me.  I know that he loves me…that I’m sure of…Jesus proved it.

Dear Lord Jesus,

Give me the grace to run this race.

Not making haste that turns to waste.

But living in accord with your taste.

So that it puts a smile on your face.

Amen

It’s Later Than You Think

I awoke from my Sunday afternoon nap feeling guilty about not doing anything.  Mulling over the list stuff I needed to do...I realized how little time I had left.   According a Harvard Health Publication the average fast food eating male in this country lives to the age of 81.6 years.  My math tells me I only have 14.6 years left.  Subtracting 33.3 % for the normal 8 hours of sleep each night reduces the time significantly but when you throw in a 4-hour nap the number jumps to a whopping 50 % time loss…this effectively cuts the time to 7.3 years…7.3 years of being awake and in a conscious or semi conscious state.  

If you deduct the amount of time I spend daydreaming it cut the time to a shocking 3 ½ years.  It is much later that I thought.

Dear Lord Jesus,

Give me the grace to spend my time doing stuff you want me to do. 

Amen.

Bacon, Butter and Blue Bell

Food is my drug of choice.  One bite is too many and one thousand is not enough.  I am a food-a-holic that thinks the next bite will be better than the last…eventually I munch myself into a caloric stupor.  The next morning I awake from my carbohydrate coma promising to never eat again.  I recognize the fact that I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth but it’s time to get rid of the spoon…knife and fork…push away from the dinner table and stop feeding myself.  Comfort food is not comfortable the next morning when I can’t button my pants.  The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.  I need a little help in the self-denial/will power department. 

  

Dear Lord Jesus,

It’s better with bacon

There is no mistakin’

A pat of butter will do

But it’s better with two.

Blue Bell is the best

When on pie it does rest

While it seems so strange

I know I must change.

I need some help

Can’t do it myself

It’s too hard for me

This I can see.

Take the spoon from my hand

This is the plan

Turn it over to You

This I must do.

Amen.

Sixty-Eight And Counting

Today I celebrate the anniversary for my birth. It is unbelievable that I have survived 24,837 days on this planet.  Most of those 816 months I was unaware of the big picture.  I would like to thank my wife for all she has put up with and thank both Mom and Dad for all the sacrifices they made on my behalf but most of all I want to thank you, Lord Jesus.

For the wisdom I gain

With each little pain

As I grow old

I can see my goal.

While my eyes are week

It is You I seek

It becomes easy to see

What You mean to me.

You hung on the cross

So I wouldn’t be lost

You were willing to die

So I wouldn’t fry.

It seems so unfair

That you suffered there

And all I need to do

Is to follow You.

For all You have done

My heart You have won

Give me the grace

For my troubles to face.

You point me home

When I start to roam

You dry my eye

When I start to cry.

When the road gets rough

You help me hang tuff

Remarkably true, it’s always You

For You are the one who pulls me through.

Amen

Ash Wednesday

     The priest put ashes on my forehead, reminded me where I had come from and where I was going…then he read from chapter 6 of Matthew’s gospel.

… “Take care not to perform righteous deeds in order that people may see them; otherwise, you will have no recompense from your heavenly Father.

When you give alms, do not blow a trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets to win the praise of others.  Amen, I say to you, they have received their reward.  But when you give alms, do not let your left hand know what your right is doing, so that your almsgiving may be secret.”…. “But when you pray, go to your inner room, close the door, and pray to your Father in secret.  And your Father who sees in secret will repay you...”

….“But when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face, so that you may not appear to be fasting, except to your Father who is hidden.  And your Father who sees what is hidden will repay you.”…

     Perhaps I should wipe the smudge from my face…comb my hair, put a smile on my face and not let anyone know what I’m up to. 

     Fasting will be very difficult for me because I spend most of my time thinking about the next meal, the next snack and the next donut.

     But I am going to accept the Lenten challenge…the challenge to practice a little self-denial.  Like a fattened bear that enters his winter den to hibernate…I will go to my inner room, close the door and pray.

Amen.