Change Is Good

I’ve noticed a change.  No longer do I look at my watch counting the agonizing seconds and minutes tick by.  My focus seems to have shifted from the preoccupation of trying to escape…to hanging on every word that is spoken.  I still manage to daydream and mentally wander off but it is not intentional. 

Yes, something has changed.  Some strange force pulls me to that place…that place of tranquility and peace.  I need my daily fix.  I need my battery recharged.  Actually it is more like a jump-start.  Some days it’s like the shock from a deliberator.

I’ll be in my pew trying not to daydream and something triggers a tsunami that generates an ego-crushing wave of humility that washes over me and leaves me with a salty trickle running down my cheeks.  And then comes the backwash…the backwash that sucks every bit of uncertainty, doubt and any lack of understanding God’s mysterious ways out to sea and drowns it…leaving nothing but the belief that God is real…God is alive and He bestows his grace even on the guilty, even on me.  

Dear Jesus, 

I suffer from a spiritual mange

That’s kinda weird and kinda strange

I know I need a daily change

So You my life can rearrange.

Thank you for the jump-start

I know I may not be too smart

But when my life goes off the chart

It is to You that I dart.

Amen.

Getting Old Is Not For Wimps

They say getting old is not for wimps.  But a wimp I am. 

I can see why this could be true.  I can no longer perform the physical feats I once could do.

But I think life is better when you get old.  Because I don’t care…I don’t care what anyone thinks about me.

It no longer matters that I never amounted to much.  Now the stress that accompanied that egotistical idea is gone. 

It took me a lifetime to figure out that God loves me…Yes…God loves me…and Jesus proved it.

Now my main concern is not disappointing God…this is a far less stressful situation than trying to please the world.

Dear Lord Jesus

Although a wimp I may be

Now I place my trust in Thee

I never did amount to much

But now I long for your loving touch.

This world is such a scary place

I much prefer your smiling face.

I am getting old but do not care

I am looking forward to being there.

I pray this prayer in your sight

Give me courage for the fight.

Help this wimp run the race

Please fill my heart with your grace.

Amen

It's Not Fair

It isn't fair/ that world out there
I whimpered and I cried.
For what they do/ is take from you,
while hurling remarks of snide.

I often squalled/ wailed and bawled.
How could they be so mean?
Woe is me/ rang out my plea.
Their spite was so extreme.

And so I fell/ into my hell
On them I placed the blame.
Until I woke/ saw I'm the bloke
That ought to be a shame.

I realized/ to my surprise.
I just could not help but note.
The one that died and never lied.
Was really my scape goat.

It isn't fair/ that world out there,
they whimpered and they cried.
For what we do/ we have not a clue.
and for this, my Jesus died.

I can't complain/ about my pain
I have much more that I deserve.
I'm blessed to be/ loved by Thee
And now I'm pleased to serve.

Amen

A Note To God

Today I heard/ from a little bird/ that you were waiting to hear from me.

In utter surprise/ I could not disguise/ my feelings of delight and glee.

So I sat down/ without my frown/ and penned a note to Thee.

I tried to say/ in some sane way/ what you really mean to me

But words fail/ to tell the tale/ of all that it can be.

Just to think/ I’m in the pink/ all because of Thee.

You did it all/ you took the fall/ nailed to that tree.

My heart it sunk/ I was in a funk/ I realized cause of me.

So I’m blown away/ know not what to say/ when I hear you want me.

I cannot repay/ one single day/ thru all eternity

The grace you give/ it lets me live/ even guilty me.

I’ll swallow my pride/ stand by your side / and pray I never flee.

Amen.

I Wiggle And Squirm

As I endeavored to sit quietly and listen to what God is saying to me...my monkey mind swings from one illogical notion to another.  I fumble through the rosary in a mindless mouthing of words, losing my place and restarting the repetitious prayers numerous times. 

Help me Lord to be still and listen...for here I sit with pen and paper ready to record what you tell me…yet no words are heard.

Dear Lord Jesus,

Here I sit/ I wiggle and squirm

Hoping your words/ will confirm

My longing for direction/ on my sojourn

In this I pray/ for the long term.

Thank you, Lord/ for putting up with me

Your love is unfathomed/ how can that be.

What You have done/ I can clearly see

The ultimate act/ just for me.

All I have/ is a humble Thank You.

That can never repay/ all that you do

Please pour out your grace/ upon me…a sinner

So I might run the race/ with you…a winner.

Amen.

Note To A Friend Feeling Rejected

I gave some thought to you last night

Had no idea that you and God were tight

The Christ was rejected and pushed away

And that’s exactly what you say.

All the saints that Our Lord marked

On suffering and pain they embarked

It was not for them but God’s glory

And that’s the moral to my story.

I pray this prayer will give you courage

And not your efforts it discourage

Keep up your toils in God’s works

Even when folks act like jerks.

Amen.

The Day Before Christmas Eve

Over the last forty-eight years Dec 23^rd has become one of my favorite days.  It is a day to recall an event in history that changed my life.  I was not sure what I was getting into when I said “I do”…but I had my suspicions.   Fortunately my suspicions were correct.  It has been an adventure and with all adventures come difficulties…difficulties that you over come. 

Thank you, Miss Mary for the adventure of a lifetime.  Please accept my apologies for being so difficult.  Thanks for showing me what real love is.

Always yours

Happy Anniversary

Gene

All I Want For Christmas

There is no need for a plastic card

All those payments, much too hard.

Do not listen to advertising lures

Their empty promise never cures.

There's something else so much better

Better than a love letter.

While it couldn’t be any stranger

The gift was found in a manger.

All the treasures do not equal

What will follow in the sequel.

That baby boy, the son of man

Had the answer, the salvation plan.

For you and me he showed the way

How we escape this melee.

Peace and joy for you and yours

This I know Christ assures.

For this I pray on Christmas day

All good things come your way.

Amen

Once Upon A Time

As I dried the white dinner plate and stacked it away with the assortment of mismatched place settings…it sparked a flash back to my childhood.  Those were the days of family dinners…the days of no fast foods…the days of having to do the dishes by hand.  Oh!  How I hated that chore.

I did not understand why I had to do such a grueling unpleasant task when I could have been outside riding my bike, throwing a stick or skipping rocks across the water. 

Still even worse was the family’s saying of the Holy Rosary.  How I dreaded that before bed activity.  I wasted that time daydreaming of shooting squirrels with my Red Rider BB gun.  Yes…with that “shoot your eye out” BB gun that never appeared under my Christmas tree.

Now, almost three quarters of a century later, I enjoy washing dishes.  I like the feel of hot soapy water...cleaning the greasy pots and pans, drying and putting away the dishes.  I find it to be a most satisfying experience…perhaps therapeutic, possibly prayerful.  

Even stranger…the Rosary…is now, my go-to prayer.  The Rosary transports me to a better place with no need to skip rocks, ride bikes or shoot squirrels.  It’s kinda like a warm fuzzy daydream that fills me with hope.  The prayer calms my fears, wipes my tears and speaks to my soul.  It speaks to my soul about who is in charge, who will take care of me and who invites me to be like him.

I am not who I used to be.  Life…God’s grace…has changed me…Hopefully I am a better version of myself. 

Dear Lord:

Although I'm scared,
Thru life I've fared.
You did not care,

I’ve been elsewhere.

You spare no cost,

When I was lost.

You call me home,

When I roam.

You’re always there,

For my welfare.

You’ve done it all,

You took the fall.

I can’t repay,

In any way,

The things You’ve done,

That were not fun.

For nothing can replace
Your amazing grace.  

And all I can do 

Is say "Thank You"

Amen

Judgmental

At Sunday Mass…from the corner of my eye I caught an adolescent returning to his pew just as the Host was being raised at the Consecration. 

I thought how could anyone be so oblivious to the fact that this is the most important part of the Mass.  When I was a kid.  First…to my knowledge…there were no restrooms to which one could escape. And second…no one would ever attempt such an escape for fear of the “Look”…that "wait till we get home" look.

I just couldn’t believe that anyone would have the audacity to leave during the middle of Mass.  As I mentally shook my Pharisee finger…it occurred to me that I had just returned to my pew from a far-away daydream.  

Wow!  That was a splinter in the eye moment…actually a log in the eye.

Dear Lord Jesus,

Thank you, Lord, for this conviction

Please accept my contrition

Help me so I never falter

And never leave You at the altar.

Amen