A Painful Reckoning

Over the years I have gradually moved from the back pew, at the prompting of my wife, toward the middle and finally to the front pew in the church.  Again my wife was right.  There are fewer distractions when you can’t see what’s going on behind you.  This strategy was working until last Sunday. 

Our organ and organist are situated behind a little wall behind the Altar and you can’t see her unless sitting in exactly the right spot.  

Well…last Sunday was my comeuppance.  For what ever reason the organ player came with a young child in tow, maybe five or six years old, maybe a grandson. 

He was a perfect example of angelic holiness, kneeling with hands folded in the most reverent way…for a moment.  Then jumping up and disappearing behind the little wall or fidgeting with his grandmother’s purse, wiggling and squirming, fiddling with the hymnal then back to his angelic position.  

His actions distracted and annoyed me.  

I want my Sunday experience to be perfect in ever way. I want to live in a perfect world.  I don’t think it’s asking too much…just one hour a week in a perfect world.   

Then I realized while my body was able to maintain the proper pious posture my mind was exactly like that six-year-old kid.  Paying attention one moment and off somewhere else the next.  

It was a humbling realization that I was a hypocrite.  I was there to thank God for all my blessings but I could not keep on task…not even for a few minutes.  

So I closed my eyes and prayed…

Forgive me Lord for my pompous behavior.

And thank you so for being my savior.

In times like these when I complain and mumble

You always know how to make me humble.

Amen.

Countryside Ride

It was a beautiful day for a spin through the countryside. I traversed over hill and dale astride the 40 year old motorcycle.  It purred along with a steady drone as my shirt flutter in the breeze and hair dance about my head. 

Past the vineyard on the hill, the barns and barnyard, over the bridges and brooks along the narrow lane I bounded.  Ranch houses, cottages and cabins…cats, cows and chipmunks…even a horse or two scattered the landscape.  A furrowed field and picturesque pasture were sights suitable for framing. 

It all made me thankful for my many blessings as I breathed in the fresh cool January air.

Thank you Lord for this day

And for sending it my way

It is with some regret

That it is you I forget.  

To thank you is such a little thing

For all the many things you bring

Yet I forget who is in charge

And that’s a mistake that is so large.  

Amen.

Land Of Plenty

 When you live in the land of plenty and are lacking in the self-denial department it is impossible to maintain a normal body weight.

And so a lifetime of overindulgence has gotten me to a rather uncomfortable place. 

I didn’t realize I was obese until my last physical when the doctor blurted out that ugly word...OBESE. It was a wake up call for me. Obese?  That’s how you refer to fat people. I cant live with the idea of being fat.  Overweight maybe...but not obese. 

So the Bluebell, the biscuits and the bagels had to go...no longer can I enjoy the best-baked breads. All the delightful deserts are out...no pecan pie, no pudding and no poppy seed pastries. I can no longer spend my time lying on the couch, staring into the refrigerator or hanging out at the “all you can eat buffet. It’s time to turnover a new leaf...literally choke down those leafy greens. Protein is the priority. 

Dare I say, even air up the tires on the bicycle and pedal down to the gym. 

Well, I’m happy to repotting it worked... twenty-two pounds in two months. I never realized I had any will power. It is so encouraging to be able to tie your shoes without coming up for air. Perhaps I can even reach a normal body weight with help from above.  It must have been that little prayer.

Dear Lord Jesus 

If it’s not to much to ask

Help me with my fast

I’ve never had much control 

In matters of the soul

But now I clearly see

Your stuff matters to me 

I want to live happily 

For all eternity 

Now that I can see

The glutton I used to be 

Here is my modest plea

That You be with me. 

Amen

Overweight Is My Goal

For the last three quarters of a century I have enjoyed relatively good health. But on my last annual check up I was told that I have Pre-Diabetes. I’m assuming that’s what precedes the real Diabetes which has lots of side effects…one being “death”.

Apparently life has been good...too good. For it seems I have managed to gobble my way into the obese category. Obese is such an ugly word. I’ve never considered myself obese. I just thought I was carrying a little extra baby fat.
At any rate I have given up my crapulous life style and adopted a new one without cake, cookies or candy…no pizza pasta or popcorn. Not even bread, butter or Bluebell is allowed to cross my lips.  My fear is that I might grow long ears and a bunny tail if I eat one more leafy green vegetable. 

 

I think I’m having withdrawal symptoms because I wake up in the middle of the night screaming “Pizza Hut”.

Only two more pounds and I will achieve my goal of being overweight.  Normal weight is most certainly out of the question.  

I am told that my BMI has to be less than 30 to be overweight. So, as soon as I reach 29.999 I will be celebrating with large “Hot and Ready” Pepperoni or maybe I’ll go berserk at the all you can eat Golden Corral buffet.

Dear Lord,

You were good to me far too long

Now I have to sing a different song

Self-denial is not my forte 

But this is for what I pray.

If I can just die healthy and such

Hopefully that’s not asking too much

I know that I am old and gray

But before I must return to clay.

Please help me slim down a little bit

So the doctor want have a fit

I hope that this will be OK

But if it’s not I will obey. 

Amen

A Simple Pine Box

I like to build stuff and fix stuff. Fixing whatever needs fixing around the house…plumbing, electrical, cars, motorcycles etc.  It must be a God given talent.  Building stuff also holds my fascination.  I built a garage and made an addition to the house…literally.  No, I didn’t hire someone to do it. I drove every nail, attached every shingle, ran every wire and laid ever brick myself.  I even enjoyed building an airplane and flying it to Alaska.  I’ve always taken a certain amount of pride in doing stuff myself. 

Now, it might seem creepy to some but I decided to build a simple pine box…a box that would carry me to my final resting place.  To me it seemed like a no brainer.  Why would I pay somebody else to do something I am capable of doing myself?  And, Yes, I’m cheap.  Besides, standing it on end with some temporary shelves would make it a perfect bookcase for the office…until I need it for its intended purpose. 

Dear Lord Jesus

Thank you for your forgiving ways

I regret the days I was in a haze

Now for me the church bell chimes

Gone my world for all times.

In this pine box I now rest

I pray that I have passed the test

Now I long for your loving grace.

In the hope to see your face.

Amen.

Out Of The Barn

From out of the barn and onto the boulevards, byways, and back roads.
Nearly fifty years ago I sold my beloved 650cc BSA Lightning and my 650cc Triumph Bonneville…beautiful English works of art.  It was because of the never-ending maintenance, oil leaks and finger numbing vibration.  I opted for what I hope to be a more reliable brand of transportation…and it was.  My last semester of college I did not have to use a screwdriver, wrench or wipe up oil leaks the entire time...just get on and go. Then after college I got a job with a company car so the little 350 Suzuki was put away and pretty much forgotten.  The minutiae of life took over…children, jobs and stuff like mowing the yard.
Today, nearly fifty years later, I decided to dust off and drag out the forgotten motorcycle.  A new battery was installed, air in the tires and some fresh gas.  She started on the second kick.

Impressive!

New Goals

I’m turning over a new leaf…and it’s a lettuce leaf, possibly spinach leaf…well any of the green vegetables…so I’m told.  This was not my choice but a choice forced upon me.  My new goal is to become over weight, according to the BMI chart I can add 8 inches to my height or loose 20 pounds.  I tried the stretching exercises. They didn’t work. It looks like I’m left with no other option.  The 20 pounds has to go. I have to get rid of this baby fat…I’ve got to get out of the obese classification into the over weight category.  It’s out of the question to go all the way down in to the normal weight range.  No more laying on the sofa and eating homemade pecan pie.  

Dear Lord Jesus,

Give me the strength to carry through 

With all the things I couldn't do.

For seventy years I've over indulged 

Counting calories I always fudged.

Now's the time to get it right 

To straighten up and fly right.

Don't let me show up at your gate

All fat and flabby and over weight.

Amen.

Funerals

I find myself attending a lot of funerals lately and starting to realize the unavoidable truth of my own mortality.  It’s kinda scary.  I just never gave much thought to the idea of ME being hauled off in that long black limo.  Life is such a distraction with all the minutiae of getting from day to day.  What seems so important at the time is nothing in the overall scheme of thing when looking thought the binoculars of eternity. 

Tell me not, in mournful numbers,

Life is but an empty dream!

For the soul is dead that slumbers,

And things are not what they seem.

Life is real! Life is earnest!

And the grave is not its goal;

Dust thou art, to dust returnest,

Was not spoken of the soul.

Not enjoyment, and not sorrow,

Is our destined end or way;

But to act, that each to-morrow

Find us farther than to-day.

Art is long, and Time is fleeting,

And our hearts, though stout and brave,

Still, like muffled drums, are beating

Funeral marches to the grave.

In the world’s broad field of battle,

In the bivouac of Life,

Be not like dumb, driven cattle!

Be a hero in the strife!

Trust no Future, howe’er pleasant!

Let the dead Past bury its dead!

Act,— act in the living Present!

Heart within, and God o’erhead!

Lives of great men all remind us

We can make our lives sublime,

And, departing, leave behind us

Footprints on the sands of time;

Footprints, that perhaps another,

Sailing o’er life’s solemn main,

A forlorn and shipwrecked brother,

Seeing, shall take heart again.

Let us, then, be up and doing,

With a heart for any fate;

Still achieving, still pursuing,

Learn to labor and to wait.

BY HENRY WADSWORTH LONGFELLOW

Land Grab

Today we pulled the trigger on the purchase of a spectacular piece of property. It is a prime location with a wonderful view in a gated community.  It has all the amenities you will ever need including: beautiful oak trees, paved streets, all utilities paid, expect lawn care and no property tax…best of all…neighbors who will never complain.

When land in Manhattan is over $1,700.00 per sq ft we feel blessed to have bought at the unbelievable price of $16.25 per sq ft.  You might say we bought the farm. 

Our new address will be:

Block 6 lot B, 5th Street

Resurrection Cemetery

Victoria, TX 77901


y'all come

Never Give Up

I’m not giving up on Christ’s church.  Sure there is bad stuff going on in the church…it’s a church full of sinners. Maybe that’s why I feel at home there.  But really!  The Catholic Church has had some really bad people, bad popes and bad priests in it over the years. Even from the get go…8.3 % of the Apostles, who were hand picked by Jesus Christ, turned out to be bad apples.  Eight point three percent…that’s one twelfth, Judas, turned out to be a bad apple.  And the others...they did not start out as saints.   

There are a lot of good people out there.  When you do the math it leaves 91.7% of them are on the good side...but they don't make the headlines. 

So I’m in it for the long haul…I’m all in.

“As for me and my house we will serve the Lord.”  Joshua 24:15