Sad Or Glad?

It was a difficult day. In a few hours I will have my thirty prices of silver for betraying the one I love, my fifteen year old…the one to whom I had given birth…she was the one I created…the object of my affection.  Maybe not birthed from my loins but I certainly worked my ass off bring her into this world. 

My limp and lifeless body moaned a remorseful dirge.  I felt like crying but at the age of seventy I knew I was no longer a child so I just crawled into bed and pulled the covers over my head.

Fifteen years ago I took her up for her maiden voyage.  It has been fifteen years of adventures…fifteen years of flying to far away places…places north of the Arctic Circle…places only reached by birds…and…places beyond.  John Gillespie Magee, Jr. captures my feelings best in his poem “High Flight.”

“Oh! I have slipped the surly bonds of earth

And danced the skies on laughter-silvered wings;

Sunward I've climbed, and joined the tumbling mirth

Of sun-split clouds - and done a hundred things

You have not dreamed of - wheeled and soared and swung

High in the sunlit silence. Hov'ring there

I've chased the shouting wind along, and flung

My eager craft through footless halls of air.

Up, up the long delirious, burning blue,

I've topped the windswept heights with easy grace

Where never lark, or even eagle flew -

And, while with silent lifting mind I've trod

The high untresspassed sanctity of space,

Put out my hand and touched the face of God.”

But I must accept the reality of my age, the shortcomings of my abilities and most importantly I must admit that my passion for flying has waned.  It is time to let her go to a new home.  It is time wipe my eyes and say farewell to the one who challenged my skills, my emotions and my checkbook.

Farewell  November Niner Eight Kilo Papa

The Other White Meat

Eleazar, advanced in years, merited the distinction of his gray hair…for he was a man of integrity.  He not only refused to eat the other white meat but he refused to even pretend to partake of the pig, knowing full well the consequences.  Even pretending would lead others astray.  So they tortured and killed him.

Dear Lord Jesus

Grant me the courage of Eleazar.

For I tend to waffle and stray afar.

The time will come, I have no doubt.

When I will need to spit it out.

That noble man with hair of gray.

Had the gumption to show the way.

Amen.

Today’s first reading was from the second book of Maccabees 2 MC 6:18-31

Reservations

We all stood up, raised our hands and prayed.  When I got to the part about “Thy will be done” I doubted my sincerity.  Somewhere in the back of my head lurked the nagging question…did I really mean it?  What if God wants me to be a martyr, possibility boiled in oil…or a Mother Teresa and live a life of poverty.  Frankly, I enjoy my soft cushy life, my peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, my Mac and cheese.  I don’t want to give that up.  It is hard to imagine living in some third world country and starving.  I kinda feel guilty about all of my blessings.  I did nothing to deserve any of the wonderful gifts that I have been given, but believe me, I am definitely thankful. 

Thank you Lord for all You give.

With joy and peace I’ll try to live.

Give me strength to do Your will.

Even if it is a bitter pill.  

Amen.

Slave of God

Thursday 10/24/13

In the first reading today (Rom 6:19-13) St Paul spoke about being a slave of God.   Being a slave?  Initially, I’m thinking…not a very appealing thought…but the fact is I am a slave.  

As Paul says we are either slaves of sin or slaves of righteousness.  Therefore, I am a slave like it or not.  

So…Maybe being a slave is not so bad.  Besides, I've come to the conclusion that I don't want to be a master anyway...it’s too hard, too difficult. I don’t like supervising people.  I don't want to be “in charge”. It's too difficult dealing with all those slaves.  Being a slave is much easier. All you have to do is your own little job.  But I want to be a slave for a good master, not a bad master that beats me. Not a master that mistreats me.

So I want to be a slave of God. Not a slave to lawlessness. Not a slave to sin. I've already tried that and I don’t like that ugly master.

I'm sick and tired of the awful fight.

For a slave to sin is a terrible plight,

a dreadful place, a deep dark hole.

It chafes; it burns and scars my soul.

I've smelt smoke and seen the flame.

And for my plight there’s me to blame.

I’ve changed my mind about my master.

Why did I not come to this much faster?

I chose a master who is just and fair.

I chose the master who does not error.

I chose the master of endless mercy.

This is the master perfect for me.

I chose the one who gave his life.

I chose the one who saves me strife.

A slave to God is what I want to be.

For this I pray, for this is my plea.

Amen.

God Still Works Miracles

Today in this modern world…in this country…where we have everything…and can do anything with our modern science and technology…it is easy to fall into a “who needs God” mentality.  After all Jesus is not walking around…in our face…working miracles.  I have to admit that I have been guilty of this type of thinking.  But, last week God showed himself to me, in a special way, that proved that there is a God and he is still working miracles. 

I agreed to work a retreat but I really did not want to.  I was extremely busy and had too much going on in my little self-centered world.  I did not think I had the time to be doing “God’s work”.  Furthermore, I was unable to go to the organizational meeting and I had received very little information from the director.  At the last minute I decided that I could not back out of a promise that I had made to “God”.  So I grabbed my toothbrush, sleeping bag and three colored shirts (not white)…jumped in the truck and drove the 150 miles to join the other 8 volunteers…only 8…and do a prison ACTS retreat.  Upon arrival it seemed like chaos and confusion and total lack of organization.  The next three days were no better as I grew more and more disappointed with every aspect of the retreat.  It was the classic blind leading the blind scenario…or so it seemed.  I had the feeling of being sent back in time to sail on the Titanic as a third class passenger.  I could see the train wreck coming.  But I had forgotten that God was in charge.  I was not in charge and apparently no one else…no one else but God. 

At the conclusion the inmate-retreatant’s smiling faces and remarks said it all.  There is a God who Love all of us and he had sent the Holy Spirit to work an unbelievable miracle.  

God chooses the inept…the unqualified the most unlikely of us to do his work.  He chooses the weak and the meek…foolish and the imperfect. He chose me.

He chooses you.

You are the miracles…God can turn sinners into saints…if you just let him. All you have to do is say “yes”…”yes, I’ll do it.”

Dear Lord Jesus

Help me live without regret.

Help me Lord not to forget.

I need not worry with my defect.

You can do what I don’t expect.

To You goes all the glory and respect.

Amen.

Dear God...

Dear God,

This is just a note to say “Hi”.  I hope you are doing well.  I’m sorry that I have not spent much time with you lately. Even at daily Mass I spend my time thinking about my challenges and my problems…not about you.  I seem to waste a lot of energy worrying about the future or fretting about the past.  Please accept my apologies for ignoring you, as it was unintentional.   I do want to thank you for all you have done and all that you continue to do.  I know you are very busy but if you have the time could you please watch over my children.  My prayer is that they understand the importance of having you in their lives…because you are the source of all true happiness.  The other stuff is just a distraction.

Sincerely Yours

me

News of Fr. Tito From Malta

"Hi, Gene,

I wanted to let you know that I found Fr. Tito, Jim & I were able to visit with him when our ship docked in Malta on Sept. 5. 

He is living in his childhood home with 3 of his sisters who never married. He has been back in Malta for 10 years but is still not very happy being there. He wishes he was back in the States. He said he misses it very much. 

He is 85 and still pretty healthy but his mind is starting to slip. He remembered me & Jim and said he remembered all our Pribyla family. But he did have several memory lapses during the course of our visit. He still has his sense of humor and sarcasm - which was so great to see and hear!

He still says daily Mass at the church a few blocks from his home and helps out there as needed. 

And he is still smoking - much to his sisters' dismay!! But that part really tickles him, as he doesn't like their doting over him. 

It was a very emotional day for the 3 of us. We were all teary eyed several times during our visit. Fr. Tito was thrilled to see us, and we loved seeing him. It seemed surreal to be seeing him in Malta almost 40 years to the day from when he married Jim and I in little Stanton, Texas!

Hope this finds you well and happy!

Take care, Carol Newman"

Thank you Carol and Jim for your heart warming report. 

Ho Hum!

The yawning of the altar boy awakened me from my daydream just in time to hear the ironic but true words from the book of Wisdom.

“Who can know God’s counsel,

or who can conceive what the LORD intends?

For the deliberations of mortals are timid,

and unsure are our plans.

For the corruptible body burdens the soul

and the earthen shelter weighs down the mind that has many concerns.

And scarce do we guess the things on earth,

and what is within our grasp we find with difficulty;

but when things are in heaven, who can search them out?

Or who ever knew your counsel, except you had given wisdom

and sent your holy spirit from on high?

And thus were the paths of those on earth made straight.”

WIS 9:13-18B 

I spend too much time worrying about my shelter…my house of sticks…my house of bricks…my earthly stuff. 

Dear Lord Jesus,

Unburden my soul

So when I get old

Earthly stuff I’ll hate

When my path is straight.
Amen.

Bwok, Bwok

Lying on the operating table waiting for the anesthetic to kick-in…gave me an opportunity to reflect on my life and ponder my future, my eternal future. 

I'm not saying I'm a chicken but I had to fight off the urge to cluck.

I’ll have to admit that going under the knife makes me take a serious look at myself and consider the possibility of death and what might lie beyond.  What kind of hypocrite am I?  Do I strain out the gnats and swallow the camels?   Do I really believe?  Do I actually practice what I preach?   

Oh!  You are done!  Thanks, Doc, for removing that tiny basal cell from my nose. 

Thank you, Lord Jesus, for these quiet times to think, to think about what is important.  Please give me the strength to put Your words into action.  Don’t let me chicken out.

Amen.

Blessed

Today’s first reading caught my ear…especially the last part.

Thus says the LORD, the God of Israel……….. 
“I gave you a land that you had not tilled and cities that you had not built, to dwell in; you have eaten of vineyards and olive groves which you did not plant.”


I couldn’t help but think of how lucky, how fortunate, how blessed I am to be born where I was born, in the place I was born and to the parents I was born.  I had no say so in the matter and could have been born in some third world country with flies buzzing about my face and a distended belly due to malnutrition.  Ok, Ok… I do have a distended belly but it is not from the lack of food…but quite the opposite. 

Thank You, Lord Jesus, for all you have done for me.

Amen

Joshua gathered together all the tribes of Israel at Shechem, summoning their elders, their leaders,  their judges and their officers.  When they stood in ranks before God, Joshua addressed all the people: “Thus says the LORD, the God of Israel: In times past your fathers, down to Terah,  father of Abraham and Nahor,  dwelt beyond the River and served other gods.  But I brought your father Abraham from the region beyond the River and led him through the entire land of Canaan.   I made his descendants numerous, and gave him Isaac.  To Isaac I gave Jacob and Esau.  To Esau I assigned the mountain region of Seir in which to settle,  while Jacob and his children went down to Egypt.  “Then I sent Moses and Aaron, and smote Egypt with the prodigies which I wrought in her midst.  Afterward I led you out of Egypt, and when you reached the sea,  the Egyptians pursued your fathers to the Red Sea with chariots and horsemen.  Because they cried out to the LORD,  he put darkness between your people and the Egyptians, upon whom he brought the sea so that it engulfed them.  After you witnessed what I did to Egypt, and dwelt a long time in the desert,  I brought you into the land of the Amorites who lived east of the Jordan.  They fought against you, but I delivered them into your power. You took possession of their land, and I destroyed them, the two kings of the Amorites, before you.  Then Balak, son of Zippor, king of Moab,  prepared to war against Israel. He summoned Balaam, son of Beor, to curse you;  but I would not listen to Balaam.  On the contrary, he had to bless you, and I saved you from him. Once you crossed the Jordan and came to Jericho,  the men of Jericho fought against you, but I delivered them also into your power.  And I sent the hornets ahead of you that drove them (the Amorites, Perizzites, Canaanites, Hittites, Girgashites, Hivites and Jebusites) out of your way; it was not your sword or your bow. “I gave you a land that you had not tilled  and cities that you had not built, to dwell in; you have eaten of vineyards and olive groves  which you did not plant.” JOS 24:1-13

Works of Mercy

The seven Corporal Works of Mercy are all about taking care of the needy.  I marvel at my wife who spends so much of her time doing just that.  I consider myself blessed being married to such an individual and so fortunate that I am a very needy person.  Thank you, Mary Owen Jeansonne, for taking such good care of me. 

Thank you, Lord Jesus, for putting Miss Mary in my life.

Amen.

To feed the hungry

To give drink to the thirsty

To clothe the naked

To shelter the homeless

To care for the sick

To visit the imprisoned

To bury the dead

Table Scraps

Today’s Gospel (Matt15: 21,28) reminded this ole dog of how thankful I am for the scraps.  And I have concluded that the only place to be is close to the master’s table.

Dear Lord Jesus,

Because of the scraps

It is best…perhaps

If I may be able

To stay close to the table.

Your smallest crumb

Is the total sum

Of all in heaven and earth

‘Tis in You I find my worth.

Amen

Playground Closed

What’s up with daily Mass.  I sometimes I wonder why I go…for it seems I spend most of the time daydreaming or allowing the devil to get into my head.  I know that an idle mind is the devil’s playground and he has been having lots of fun swinging from the monkey bars of my mind…in spite of the posted signs "playground closed". 

But there always seems to be a moment during Mass…a brief few seconds that I get a reassuring chill or sensation of God’s presence and it is very real.  In that small brief instant I am at peace with all that he has promised.

Maybe it is not the act of going to daily Mass that makes a difference.  It is the difference it makes in the way I act during the other twenty-three hours and thirty minutes of the day…that’s what really matters.

So, I’ll try again tomorrow.

Dear Lord Jesus,

For this I pray…that I do not stray.

Please hear my plea.

Make not a monkey out of me.

Amen.

What Not To Wear

I never considered myself a fashion expert nor that I even had a clue as to what not to wear…but what I have learned about “dressing up” is from the women in my life.  My mother had a thing about clean underwear.  Apparently she worried about being in a car wreck and that the attending medical personal and/or possibly mortician would discover soiled underwear.  I never quite understood her logic…for it seems that a scary car wreck would soil even clean underwear.  Then there is my wife who taught me not to wear stripes with plaids, no camo and stay away from colors that clash.

I do know to dress up when I go to important events or visit important people.  I do know flip-flops and tee shirts are not formal wear regardless of what is written on the tee shirt or what color they are. 

I consider going to Church an important event and God an important person…actually three important persons in one. 

So…I will continue to dress up for Sunday Mass in spite of such comments as “Where are you preaching today?” or “what’s the special occasion?”   Yes…coat and tie is a little uncomfortable but not nearly as painful as a nail though the hand.

Thank you, Lord Jesus, for what you did.

While dressing up may be off the grid.

In today’s culture of tees and flip-flops.

In my book You are the tops.

Amen.