Sunday Best

Dear Diary,
It’s only in you I can confide my inner most secrets…I confess that I now know how a fish must feel when removed from its watery environment as I spent the morning at the men’s store picking out a new suit to replace my thirty year old one. It started with the salesman laying out five or four dark suits and asking which one I preferred. As he explained all the different colors and subtle pin striping I thought to myself perhaps I should have stopped at the eye doctor and had my glasses checked. There did not appear to be any difference between the dark gray, the black or the dark navy blue. Fortunately my wife picked one out of the line up that she liked and I promptly agreed…suppressing my notion to show my ignorance and lack of good taste. After all what do I know…I consider a starched pair of Wranglers formalwear. Yes, I was out of my element. After trying it on…we all gave a nod of approval…and I reveled in the thought, “Hey! That was not as painful as I imagined”. I was ready to check out when I was advised that a new shirt was needed to go with the suit. Immediately the salesman unloaded the stores shelves and started in with the questions “which did I prefer…button down or regular? I knew the answer to that one. I’ve got a closet full of button down collars that I never wear because I can’t get those tiny buttons to button. “No button downs…final answer”. He questioned, “Color?” I answered, “White …final answer.” What other color do you need?…it’s a suit. I don’t like deciding what color goes with what. Everyday of the week I wear the same tan khaki shirt, same wranglers and same work boots. This eliminates trying on all the different outfits like my wife does before she goes anywhere. Well! apparently I need other colors too. I suppose they can hang in the closet with all the others that I have never worn. Oh! There is the required new tie, not one but two…they too can hang in the closet with all the other new ties I’ve never worn. That’s not all…I need a new sports coat…like where am I going to wear that? Wait! I have to have new slacks too. And now a new belt…both black and brown…Ok, Ok I’ll give on that one, the old belt was modified with an ice pick to make it fit. And then the new shoes were needed…I must admit it was time to retire the thirty year old wingtips, their soles held on with Shoe-Goo…well done my good and faithful servants.

I decided to just go with the flow. Sometimes its best not to muddy the water…you never know when you may have to drink it. Besides, now I feel that I have contributed to the economic recovery program in some small way. Money is like manure it does not do any good unless you spread it around.

Thank you, Lord Jesus, for a wife who knows when I need a new suit.
Thank you for the wisdom to know when to keep my mouth shut
Thank you for a VISA with a substantial credit limit.
Amen


PS I’ll see you Sunday in my new “Sunday Best”.