Itching, Scratching, Coughing and Sneezing

         I am beginning to understand and appreciate Fr. Harold’s comment about “Sometimes life can be a slow martyrdom”.  This past month has been one incapacitating issue after another: hay fever, flu, a cold and now…shingles.  I realize none of these are fatal and that they don’t require habit forming pain medication.  But they are a “thorn in the side” and a vivid reminder that there is something else in this life besides being well and feeling good.  The worst part is trying to maintain a positive outlook.

        It looks like I have a choice.  I can carp, complain and moan or I can just offer it up.

        Offering up my miniscule amount of discomfort appears to have merit.  It allows me to understand, in some very small way, the suffering of the Cross.  It gives me a tiny insight into what Jesus went through for me…some understanding of the love He has for me.

        Paul’s thorn in the flesh was not removed, but he soldiered on...he suffered through it.

So, I’m good with the itching, scratching, coughing and sneezing…‘cause I know God will be enough to sustain me.

        Thank you, Lord Jesus, for this down time to refocus on you.

Amen.

Refinished And Reborn

 “Ready to be abused by the next generation” Jeff Jeansonne

In amazement I stared at the picture of my mother-in-law’s kitchen table and the comment posted by my son. At a very early age my wife sat at this very same table with her five brothers and four sisters.  For many years I have enjoyed sitting at this table…sitting and listening to my mother-in-law, “Big Red,” tell the most interesting and fascinating stories of the history and life on the Texas High Plains. After her passing at the age of 104 the well-worn and rickety old table was given to my son.  After months of laboring over the restoration he has brought it back to serve as a wonderful memory of his grandmother.

Thanks Jeff, you and your talent continually amaze me. I pray you and your family will continue the tradition of enjoying family time around this beautiful piece of furniture.

Love,

Dad

The Last Candle

Dear Jesus,

  Sunday we will light the forth and last Advent candle, then only two days will remain until your birthday. I have done absolutely nothing to prepare for your big day. I've hung no lights, put up no tree, sent out no cards and purchased no gifts. But I've been thinking about you and me...well...mostly me. So I'm writing this note to let you know that if you want a birthday gift you should pick it out yourself.  I will gladly charge it to my VISA card, as I've never been any good at picking out gifts.

  By the way, I just want you to know that your arrival in this world has been a Godsend. You have changed my life by your example, thanks for being You and have a Happy Birthday.

Yours truly,

Me

P.S. Be careful out there the stores are very crowded and the traffic is terrible.

The Shuffle

     I caught myself doing the shuffle…no…not the dance. I was awakened by a full bladder and found myself shuffling to the bathroom like some old codger in a nursing home.  It was a painful realization but I’m afraid it has come to precisely that.  I never envisioned myself being this old.  I don’t know what I was thinking or if I was even thinking but when I was young it seemed like being young was going to last forever…in spite of the statistics that 100 % of people get old and die.  Well…maybe 100 % don’t get old…but the latter situation is a proven statistic.  I never considered getting old and never anticipated what being old was like.

     Now it’s time to plan for eternal life, living forever. It appears that there are two very different options…commonly referred to as "Heaven" or "Hell". 

     I can only imagine that heaven is like being young and living forever. And the other option…hell…is being old and living forever, with the wisdom that there could have been a better choice.

     Dear Lord Jesus, please give this old codger the endurance, strength and fortitude to survive being old in this life and the mercy to be young in eternity.

Amen

The Third Day

  On the third day I emerged from the prison walls and let the heavy iron gate slam shut behind me.  My head was swimming in an emotional sea of conflicting and confusing feelings.  I had just spent three days living with those who were labeled the worst of the worst, the saddest of the sad and the ‘baddest’ of the bad.  Yet...I felt a connection with them as if they were all my brothers. 

  For the most part they did not have all the blessings of a stable environment, a disciplined up-bringing or good parenting.  They had to deal with drugs, violence and abuse…dysfunctional families or no family at all.  

  But we shared common ground in the fact that we all led a selfish and rebellious youth.  We all were looking for love in all the wrong places. 

  Three days of listening to narratives, stories and testimonies was a gut- wrenching process…but it had a worthwhile outcome.  It strengthened my faith to see the hope, happiness, peace and joy that came to those who let God into their life. 

  It was amazing to see the profound change in them, and encouraging to seeing the fervor and passion with which they prayed.

Dear Lord Jesus,

Forgive us our selfishness and lowly pride

Before the earth and stars collide.

It has filled the prisons to overflowing

Because our love has not been growing.

It has emptied the churches beyond belief

Causing nothing but sorrow, anguish and grief.

I pray that You be at my side

It’s in my heart You must reside.

Amen

Circling The Drain

  As I slowly start to circle the drain my thoughts and my focus become more intent on the tightening spiral in which I am caught.  I have discovered that Judgment Day is a two-part event: the particular judgment and the last or general judgment. 

  The first…at the time of your death…you are given the verdict.  You get a “thumbs up” or a “thumbs down”.  This is done discreetly in the private confines of the judge’s chambers.  While the second part, the general or final judgment is held at an IMAX with the whole world present.  The entire movie of your life is shown for everyone to see.  Your each and every action… good and bad…is detailed in “High Def Technicolor” and how the domino effect impacts every person on the planet.

  The verdict…first and second time…is the same but I can see that the second time is going to be very embarrassing.  I get a bit flushed when I think about it.

  Dear Lord Jesus

This is the day my eyes open wide

As to the ways of my foolish pride

Direct my actions today I plea

To make a movie that pleases Thee.

Amen

Professional Writer

It was a crushing blow.  Today my dream of becoming a professional writer was shattered.  I was offered a job addressing envelopes but after observing samples of my handwriting the offer was withdrawn.

Pancakes

A house full of grandchildren gave me reason to pause and think back on my formative years…trying to recall if my childhood was so dramatic, so over-the-top and so volatile.  Perhaps it was.

 “The pancakes are too small” was the vociferous complaint.  I had to snicker and think to myself…eat more of them…there’s a solution.  Of course this wisdom only comes from a lifetime of living.  Then the cry rang out “I hate my life” as if in some subconscious struggle for attention.  Though I don’t remember being quite so vocal as a child…I am sure there were all the same runaway emotions at work.  In the old days…one did not want to draw too much attention because a father’s belt could dole out a bit more attention than one really wanted.

 I most definitely recall thinking how much I hated my life, hated my parents and how I wanted to flee the oppression they dished out.  How unfair they were…not allowing me to do as I pleased.  I was not allowed to play with guns or sharp sticks…not even run though the house with a pair of scissors.  I recall my mother’s exact words “you’ll put your eye out.”  It seemed everyone else got to do what they wanted to do…but never me.  I distinctly remember lying in bed at night plotting my escape…dreaming of running away and joining the circus.  Yes, I hated my life…life “Su@%ed”.  I just did not use that word…I suppose it wasn’t invented yet.  

 I recall how much I really, really wanted a Red Rider B-B gun and never got it…on the up side…I never shot my eye out.  I never considered the fact that I slept in a warm bed every night, I ate hot meals every day, and I got loads of Christmas presents every Christmas and birthday presents every birthday. Oh! No! That was never factored into the equation. 

 I don’t want to be a child again…well…I don’t want to be childish anymore. Those were some hard lessons to learn.

Dear Lord Jesus,

Give me the wisdom and patience to put up

with the children that force me to grow up.

Amen.

Thankgiving

As a horizontally challenged person I find the Thanksgiving holidays taxing in many ways.  With all the required eating, optional snacking and gratuitous tasting…it is impossible not to overindulge. 

Then there is that requirement to wear some nice shirt…making it impossible to sneak out into the garage and accomplish any odd job for fear of rebuke because of that inevitable telltale oil spot that appears in the middle of your Sunday shirt.

So...I am stuck with nothing to keep my hands busy except handing calories to my mouth.  In an effort to curtail that activity…I’ve restricted myself to the couch, watching mind numbing football while dozing in and out of consciousness.  

Happy Thanksgiving to one and all

I thank you, Lord Jesus, this is my call

For family, for food, and even football

I so much enjoy this time in the Fall.

Amen.

Turkey Day

At my wife’s request I dug my mother-in-law's dining room table out of the garage, hauled it into the house, installed the three leaves and raised the end flaps.  Thanksgiving is all about family and it was nice having my entire family all sitting at the massive table that for so many years my wife and her nine siblings sat around.  Admittedly it was a little sad not having my mother-in-law, "Big Red", present at the head of the table. But it brought back wonderful memories of all the years... all the Thanksgivings...all the good times spent with her and her family.  On this special day of Thanksgiving I am thankful for that…and all my many blessings...family being at the top of that very long list.  Amen.

Perseverate

Flipping through the pages of my tattered notebook I notice a reoccurring theme…It seems I perseverate on my demise…my death…my passing on to the next life, the eternal life.  There always seems to be some question as to where or how I will spend that eternal time.  Even as I understand the promise of salvation I worry about my mustard seed size faith, which never seems to be enough to reassure me…especially in the light of God’s instructions “love thy neighbor as thy self”.  I’ve got the “love thy self” down pat.  But, that love my neighbor stuff…that’s difficult…especially when he irritates me.  And even more worrisome are the words “Love thy enemy” recorded in Matthew 5:43 and Luke 6:27.  That is really counter-intuitive to my selfish way of thinking.  I have to go through the mental gyrations of “love the sinner not the sin” in order to cope with that.   

Dear Lord Jesus,

I am afraid we are headed for difficult times in this land of the free and home of the brave.  I have enjoyed a prosperous life in a prosperous country and I thank you for that.  But I see troubled times on the horizon and religious persecution around the corner.  My prayer is that you water my tiny mustard seed of faith that it might grow into a large tree.

Amen

Letter To Titus

Today's reading of Paul’s letter to Titus was right on the money.

“Beloved: Remind them to be under the control of magistrates and authorities, to be obedient, to be open to every good enterprise.

They are to slander no one, to be peaceable, considerate, exercising all graciousness toward everyone.  For we ourselves were once foolish, disobedient, deluded, slaves to various desires and pleasures, living in malice and envy, hateful ourselves and hating one another.

  But when the kindness and generous love of God our savior appeared, not because of any righteous deeds we had done but because of his mercy, he saved us through the bath of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom he richly poured out on us through Jesus Christ our savior, so that we might be justified by his grace and become heirs in hope of eternal life.” (Titus 3:1-7)

That really sums it all up for me. For it is nothing I've done that has any merit but only by the grace and mercy of God and what Jesus did that I get to enjoy all I have…the least of which is an eternity with my creator and benefactor.

A "Thank You" seems insignificant and insufficient in light of these circumstances but it’s all I have.

Thank you, Lord Jesus

All I have is because of You

My life, my talent, my blessings too

Without Your help I could not do

All the things You want me to.

Amen.

The Day After

After a depressing night of watching TV, I woke up early and pedaled my way to church under a star filled crystal clear sky.  Strangely today’s readings seemed very appropriate and allowed me to refocus on who my leader really is.

          “The Lord is my light and my salvation whom shall I fear?

           The Lord is my life’s refuge; of whom shall I be afraid?” Psalm 27

All my fears dissipated because the Lord is my light and my salvation.

Thank you, Jesus.
I needed that.
Amen.

The Reader

     It seems I’m attending a lot more funerals as of late and I find it especially sobering when the deceased is an entire generation younger than I.  But I take comfort in the words from the Book of Wisdom as the reader reads them with such feeling and clarity. 

     My favorite reader, dressed in an elegantly tailored black suit, is a pleasure to listen to…not to mention look at.  I hang on every word as if they came from God's own lips.  Well, I guess the words do come from God…but she really makes it sound as if I am actually listening to the soft, sweet, confident and reassuring voice of God himself.  Yep! She is my favorite reader!  I want her to read at my funeral, but I suppose she will probably be sitting with the family of the deceased.  She will make a good-looking widow in that black suit.

     Thank you, Lord Jesus, for Your comforting word that I heard…and a wife who delights the ear with her soft spoken voice.

Amen.

My Hero

Life can be a bit of a pain

Sometimes even drive you insane

But if I may be so bold

I’ll tell of a story that is so old.

In this story you see a plot unfold

Of one who had no silver or gold

Of one who suffered to set you free

Of one they hung upon a tree.

He did no wrong, he had no fault

But the rowdy crowd they did not halt

How could they do this terrible deed?

By all rights he should have been freed.

Then I noticed the hand that held

The hammer that drove the rusty nail.

Undeniably familiar, the hand was mine

How, oh How could I have been so blind.

To the devil, my soul, I had sold

To God I turned a shoulder cold

But the day I reached my ropes end

That’s the day I needed a special friend.

No longer them, but it was I

This is why he had to die

While I was digging a deep, deep delf

He died to save me from myself.

He set the bar, He pointed the way

He changed the world on that third day

He is my savior, so I am told

He is my hero whom I extol.

I’ve been blessed, this I know

When I consider my tad of woe

So I can stand my pain so small

Because He showed us one and all.

To Him I turn when my back’s to the wall

He is the one who’s ten feet tall

He picks me up when I fall

He is my Lord, my all in all.

Amen

Tile Guy

Today, I am officially removing “Tile Guy” from the list of things that I want to be when I grow up.  Originally, I thought “how hard can it be?”  It looks easy but it is far too much work.  All that thinking involved in the layout and patterns, cutting all those tiles, mixing stuff, grouting, cleaning, wiping, wiping, wiping...it's all just too hard.  And the worst part is that I see all the little imperfections.  I would have never notice any of those imperfections if someone else had done the job.

 

So that's it…I'm not going to be a “tile guy.”

Thank you, Lord Jesus, for the talent you gave me.

But I'm going to let the real "Tile Guy" do it next time.

and I will keep searching for the talent I buried.

Amen.

Fritters And Friends

A clear sky and Fall temperatures lured the old men out with their old motorcycles onto the highways and byways.  Lured them out only to be chased by a rising sun up the Farm to Market road to the café.  Once safe inside they dined on apple fritters and cinnamon rolls…enjoying the company of other two wheel enthusiasts.  

Thank you Lord for fantastic mornings

They just appear without warnings

But most of all…for the fritters and friends

Cause they’re the ones that makes me grins.

Amen

Retreat

The Spiritual Renewal Center is a magical place.  Well…that's not the right "M" word...maybe mysterious or mystical place.  It is kind of a place that is far from this world.  It seems to exist in some twilight zone where time and space are suspended...a place where God's finger reaches through the clouds and touches me…leaving a profound mark on my heart and soul.  It is a place where I know that I am loved…a place where my past is forgiven…a place where my future is bright.

Thank you, Lord Jesus, for this special place

Suspended somewhere between time and space

For it gives me the chance to touch your face

And to feel the warmth of your sweet embrace

Amen

Summer

The hot dry summer has parched the land and dried up the ink in my pen...it has turned my thoughts to dust and I can write no more.

I'm ready for a downpour to lift my spirit and refresh my hope…to float my boat.

I should go out and buy new windshield wipers as an expression of faith. I don’t want to be unprepared…I don't want to be without oil for my lamp.

Thank you, Lord Jesus

For you are the gift that keeps on giving

You are the living water that quenches my thirst

Amen

It Rained In My Field

A little rain fell in my field today and quenched the thirsty ground.  I couldn’t help but feel blessed when I stopped and thought that I was born in a place where I can drink clean water from the tap or go to the refrigerator and eat anything I want…any time I want.   I have a roof over my head and a dry warm bed in which to sleep.  All this is a result of nothing I did.  All this was given to me totally undeserved.  Everything I have from my toes to my teeth to my talent is a result of God’s grace…and then…there is the most gratuitous gift of all…salvation.

Dear Lord Jesus

Please give me a little latitude

When it comes to my attitude

For it’s not just a platitude

When I praise You for your magnitude.

Amen.

Loincloth

The LORD said to me: Go buy yourself a linen loincloth;

wear it on your loins, but do not put it in water.

I bought the loincloth, as the LORD commanded, and put it on.

A second time the word of the LORD came to me thus:

Take the loincloth which you bought and are wearing,

and go now to the Parath;

there hide it in a cleft of the rock.

Obedient to the LORD's command, I went to the Parath

and buried the loincloth.

After a long interval, the LORD said to me:

Go now to the Parath and fetch the loincloth

which I told you to hide there.

Again I went to the Parath, sought out and took the loincloth

from the place where I had hid it.

But it was rotted, good for nothing!

Then the message came to me from the LORD:

Thus says the LORD:

So also I will allow the pride of Judah to rot,

the great pride of Jerusalem.

This wicked people who refuse to obey my words,

who walk in the stubbornness of their hearts,

and follow strange gods to serve and adore them,

shall be like this loincloth which is good for nothing.

For, as close as the loincloth clings to a man's loins,

so had I made the whole house of Israel

and the whole house of Judah cling to me, says the LORD;

to be my people, my renown, my praise, my beauty.

But they did not listen.

             (Jeremiah 13:1-11)

 Today's first reading captured my attention…it was the parable of the loincloth. It emphasized the fact that I need to listen to God and obey His words.  A rotten loincloth is good for nothing.  It doesn’t take a genius to interpret this parable.  So I’m clinging to Jesus like a cheap pair of shorts.

Amen.