Tuesday, January 7, 2020

A Painful Reckoning

Over the years I have gradually moved from the back pew, at the prompting of my wife, toward the middle and finally to the front pew in the church.  Again my wife was right.  There are fewer distractions when you can’t see what’s going on behind you.  This strategy was working until last Sunday. 
Our organ and organist are situated behind a little wall behind the Altar and you can’t see her unless sitting in exactly the right spot.  
Well…last Sunday was my comeuppance.  For what ever reason the organ player came with a young child in tow, maybe five or six years old, maybe a grandson. 
He was a perfect example of angelic holiness, kneeling with hands folded in the most reverent way…for a moment.  Then jumping up and disappearing behind the little wall or fidgeting with his grandmother’s purse, wiggling and squirming, fiddling with the hymnal then back to his angelic position.  
His actions distracted and annoyed me.  
I want my Sunday experience to be perfect in ever way. I want to live in a perfect world.  I don’t think it’s asking too much…just one hour a week in a perfect world.   
Then I realized while my body was able to maintain the proper pious posture my mind was exactly like that six-year-old kid.  Paying attention one moment and off somewhere else the next.  
It was a humbling realization that I was a hypocrite.  I was there to thank God for all my blessings but I could not keep on task…not even for a few minutes.  

So I closed my eyes and prayed…

Forgive me Lord for my pompous behavior.
And thank you so for being my savior.
In times like these when I complain and mumble
You always know how to make me humble.

Amen.

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