Why Me?

As I cast a judgmental eye around the congregation I wondered if they were just there physically not spiritually. Were they only present out of habit or under duress from a spouse or parent? As I wandered the labyrinthine halls of my mind it occurred to me what a fraud I was…how judgmental I was. As I continued flipping the channels of my brain from day-dream to day-dream…I stood, I sat and I kneeled…I followed the crowd like a zombie. I watched the altar boy, in this case a girl, yawn…a most contagious yawn that had an infectious effect on me. I grit my teeth and tried for my most pious pose in an attempt not to follow suit but it was of no avail. I wasn’t even fooling myself. In the background I could hear the droning of a sermon as my coma persisted. Automatically getting in line and filing up to receive communion I heard the priest announce, “The Body of Christ”. That snapped me out of my stupor and I stammered, “Amen”.

The realization of how unworthy I really was came over me like a giant wave crashing down and causing me to gasp for breath. As a warm loving feeling washed over me and I strained to hold back the tears, my only thought was…why me Lord? What did I ever do to deserve love from You.

The tune and words from the song played in my head.

“Why Me Lord? What have I ever done
To deserve even one of the pleasures I've known
Tell me Lord what did I ever do to deserve loving you
And the kindness you've shown”

Amen