In Nomine Patris

I walked the expanse of the enormous cobblestone courtyard, climbed the seven symbolic steps, passed thru the big bronze door, pushed open the massive wooden entry and stepped in. I stepped into what seemed like a time warp, I had stepped back in time…back to a place of my childhood recollections. I had entered into a pre-Vatican II world, a world of Latin and liturgy complete with gothic architecture, ornate stained glass appointments, immense columns, inlayed polished marble floors and ceilings that rose to the heavens.

Yet, all this paled in comparison to the spectacle of absolute reverence and awesome respect shown by everyone in attendance. I marveled at the sight of the altar-boys, all in lock step, as they processed up the aisle with serious somber looks on their faces. They ushered in the priest with candles and crucifix held high.

In nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti.(In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit) the memories rushed back…my experience of being pressed into altar-boy service, having to memorize and recite all the prayers in Latin…the meaning of which I had not a clue…and the uncomfortable feeling of being watched by all. Looking back I suspect this is about the time my spiritual train jumped its tracks for I was a rebellious nine year old child.

The unseen cloistered nuns singing from the other side of the partition filled the shrine with the sounds of Adoremus, Sanctus Sanctus Sanctus and Panis Angelicus.

I looked on with astonishment at the sight of everyone dressed in their Sunday best, no T-shirts, no tennis shoes, and no provocative frocks. There was no parade going in and out during mass and no one leaving early or coming in late. There was just raw reverence…from the smallest child to the most elderly person.

Most but not all the women wore mantillas covering their heads, the men wore coats and ties, and there I was with wrinkled jeans and tennis shoes. I felt like the man in the parable of the wedding feast who did not have on the proper garment…fortunately I was not bound hands and feet and thrown out into the darkness with the wailing and gnashing of teeth.

“Confiteor Deo omnipotenti” (I confess to Almighty God), priest and participants alike recited the words. It seemed I was half awake and half asleep…in some sort of half real and half surreal dream-world. I had to clinch my teeth to keep my jaw from quivering, my eyes from watering and I had to force myself to breath due to my muscles constricting the normal lung movements.

“Dominus Vobiscum” (may the lord be with you). We all answered, “Et cum spiritu tuo” (and with your spirit).

The priest with his back to the crowd raised the consecrated host above his head for all to see saying, “Ecce Agnus Dei, ecce qui tollit peccata mundi.” (Behold the Lamb of God; behold him who takes away the sins of the world).

We all filed up to the apron covered communion rail, knelt and received Our Lord and Savior on the tongue. Emotions of being totally unworthy mixed with feelings of being eternally thankful churned within me…like fresh cream…they churned until the cream turned into the butter of grace.

The entire experience is a poignant picture that is burned into the memory of my soul.

Dear Lord Jesus/ I give you thanks
Now that I am/ among your ranks

For putting my train/ upon Thy tracks
For this I know/ to be the facts

And that’s not all/ you’ve done for me
So make me who/ You want me to be

Blessing too many/ to keep the score
But it is your help/ I do implore

Please help me through/ each day and night
Now that I have joined/ your lofty fight

I know this has/ to be Your way
So this is the prayer/ I pray today

Amen

A visit to the Shrine of the Most Holy Sacrament.
The home to EWTN’s Mother Angelica
Hanceville, Alabama
7/7/2009